Note: I was technically supposed to post this earlier this week, but noticed that no one was signed up for today (plus I was super busy earlier), so I'm posting a bit late, under a throwaway account! Fair warning: I'm VERY verbose, so this will be long!
Section One: Assets and Debt
As I mentioned above, I make $56k per year as an administrator in higher education. My husband (K) just got a raise to making $155k per year. He works as a lawyer, has been in the workforce for about 12 years. I won't get into too many details but he works for a small boutique firm, not Biglaw. He also sometimes gets a yearly bonus of around $10k-20k but it's not guaranteed or anything like that. K and I have totally combined finances, so the below numbers are for both of us. I have a humanities PhD but I decided to leave academia and find an alt-ac job. My current position has good work-life balance (I never work past 5 pm), but pays terribly and my university is very badly run. I'm hoping to leave higher education all together in the future and am currently enrolled in a certificate program to try to make a career transition to instructional design.
The big elephant in the room is that my husband, K, makes a lot more money than me. When we first met, he was paying off massive amounts of student loans and making much less, and I was debt free with a lot of savings, so we both spent about the same amount. Now he makes 3x what I make and we are both debt-free, so the difference is much more noticeable. We do argue about money sometimes (more in the past), but the reality is that I have a humanities PhD and will likely never out earn him, and he knew that when I married him, lol. Because of all the labor I do around the house and in our lives to support him as he works a much more intense job, I was very clear that I believed we should split our finances equally as soon as we got married. We don't have separate accounts and we generally check in with one another whenever we are planning to spend more than $100. This system works for us for now.
I also want to address the question about parental or family support. Although I technically paid all of my own bills since I got my Bachelor's degree, my parents supported me a lot by paying for my flights home to visit at Christmas or in the summer as Xmas presents/birthday presents. My parents also paid for my undergraduate degree (and K's parents paid for his undergraduate degree as well). They also gave us about $15k to pay for our wedding.
Finally, my parents recently gave me $20k as an "early inheritance." They told me they plan to do this every year (depending on the stock market). We put this money into a brokerage. I don't consider my parents rich, as they both worked hourly jobs in health care my entire life (as a nurse and respiratory therapist - both with only associate's degrees). We never owned a new car, when we went on vacation we stayed in hostels , and shopped almost exclusively at Goodwill. But they scrimped and saved and now they have over $1 million in a retirement account. So I want to acknowledge my financial privilege in that I came from this kind of background. K's parents are similar.
Retirement Balance: $186k (combination of 401k, 403b, 457, 2 Roth IRAs, and taxable brokerage account).
Equity: None, we rent.
Savings account balance: Approximately $45k.
Checking account balance: Right now, around 8k.
Credit card debt: Right now, around $3k. But we pay it off each month with our checking account balance.
Student loan debt: $0. We finally paid off my husband’s law school loans (around $130k), last year. I didn’t have any student loans from undergrad (parents paid) and my MA & PhD were fully funded.
Section Two: Income
Income Progression: I’ve been working in my current field for 3 years. I started off making about $53k and got tiny 2% “merit increases” twice. Then in July my payroll title was changed, which triggered a required raise of about $2k. (I am dramatically underpaid).
Before my current position, I was in academia. I worked as a visiting assistant professor for one year at my alma mater (made $50k for 9 months of work) and before that I was a graduate student for 7 years. I was paid $18k-21k in stipends each year and my tuition & benefits were covered. Luckily, I lived in a very low cost of living area and this was enough for me to live on without going into debt. I got my PhD in 2017. Before I was a graduate student, I taught English in Japan for three years and made around $36k per year. In high school and college, I had random jobs that provided grocery/spending money, but I was lucky enough to have parents that paid my tuition and my rent in college.
I’m currently trying to make a career change (as you will see in my diary) and enrolled in a certificate program which runs from Autumn 2020 to Spring 2021 in order to help with that.
Main Job Monthly Take Home: $7,634. This probably seems low relative to our joint income, but we max out our 401k (K) and 403b (me). I work for the state government, which means I’m also eligible for something called a Deferred Compensation Plan (457b). This is basically the same as a 401k but you can withdraw contributions and gains from the account at any age without penalty (of course, you still have to pay taxes). I also max this out, and the limit is the same as a 401k/403b - $19.5k. Also this number is before K’s raise is accounted for. It won’t increase until his end of February paycheck.
Other deductions - I have health insurance taken out (about $80 a month for me, K’s firm covers his premiums) and taxes. WA has no state taxes, so it’s only federal taxes. I used to have to pay $50 / month for a bus pass (K's was free), but I don’t pay any longer because I’m working from home during COVID.
Final note - the sum I mentioned in the headline includes a variable bonus my husband gets. My base pay is $56k and his is $155k (as of February 1). This year he also got a bonus of $20k, which is set up a bit strangely. About $4k of this was structured as a 3% matching contribution to his 401k and the rest was taxable income. In small law firms, it’s unusual to get any 401k match so this was nice.
Side Gig Monthly Take Home: None.
Any Other Monthly Income Here: We get some interest from our savings account… like $25 a month.
Section Three: Expenses
Rent: Rent comes to approximately $2,050 total for a one-bedroom apartment. Rent itself is $1886, then we have pet rent ($25 per month), bicycle parking ($15 a month) and water / sewage / gas, which is usually $120-150 (variable cost).
Renters insurance: $157.76, paid annually. $13 a month.
Retirement contribution: In addition to the 401k, 403b, and 457, which all come out before taxes, we max out our Roth IRAs. That means $500 each per month per person (for a yearly total of $6k each). As I noted up top, we match out our 401k and 403b (19,500 each) and our 457. My employee also offers a 7.5% match. K's employee offers a 3% match but it is included in his yearly bonus so it's not guaranteed (confusing).
Savings contribution: We put $500 per month into our emergency fund. We also put about $860 a month into our “sinking fund,” which covers large and small annual or sporadic purchases such as vacations, gifts, Amazon Prime renewal, car insurance and renters insurance, etc.
Investment contribution: $875 per month into a taxable brokerage at Vanguard.
In total, we save about 47% of our gross income. We can do this because we keep our housing cost low relative to our high income, we don’t have any debt remaining, we don’t have any kids or parents who need financial support, and we’re very privileged in a lot of ways. We are hoping to FIRE within 10 years.
Debt payments: None.
Donations: We budget $100 per month for donations, which includes one-time donations as well as some reoccurring donations. My husband does pro bono work as well. I would like to increase this by quite a bit, but I still have a hard time budgeting for donations because I spent 7 years living on approximately $20k a year. To go from that to making more than 10x that amount within 3-4 years is obviously something that I am very privileged for, but it is still hard for me emotionally to comprehend at times.
Electric: ~$50-100 (billed every other month)
Wifi/Cable/Landline: An extortionate $87.12 for slow internet that only works for Zoom calls about half the time. Do I really live in one of the tech cities of the future?
Cellphone: $170 (This includes both service and paying off two new iPhones. We could have paid them off up front, but it was actually cheaper by like $50 to go on a payment plan.)
Subscriptions: BritBox ($7.70), Spotify ($16.50), HBOMax ($16.50), We Hate Movies Patreon (my favorite podcast - $8.81). My parents pay for Netflix and my sister pays for Hulu, and we all share.
Gym membership: None. K and I both run and do yoga with YouTube videos. Before the pandemic, we went to yoga classes pretty frequently in person. I’d like to do some online synchronous yoga classes but find it hard to make time.
Pet expenses: Varies, but I budget $50 per month and also include an emergency fund for my cat’s vet bills in our sinking fund. She’s 11 years old and probably asthmatic, so I know her vet bills are going to increase over time.
Car payment / insurance: We own our car outright. Insurance billed yearly is $2,097, about $174 per month.
Regular therapy: $0
Paid hobbies: Nothing regular, sporadic language classes and art supplies.
Other expenses: Right now I’m doing a certificate to hopefully help with a career change. The total cost for tuition is about $5k and we already saved it up (included in our 'sinking fund') basically through spending less during the pandemic. I’ve paid two quarters so far, and the last quarter (due in March) will be a bit more - about $2.3k.
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Day 1
Morning: I wake up at 5:30 am. Ever since the pandemic, my sleep schedule has been shot. At first, I was so happy not to have to leave the house at 7:15 for my 45 minute bus commute and I slept in a lot. But the stress (and maybe getting old?) has made me an early riser, no matter how much I try to sleep in. I do value my early mornings with just me, my cat, and my coffee, though.
I start work at 8 am and begin by triaging my emails. I have a bunch of deadlines this week, so it’s busier than usual. My job tends to be very seasonal, and sometimes I have a ton of work and sometimes I have none and can work on other longer-term projects. I have a piece of toast for breakfast and place a Whole Foods delivery order for the following day at 10:30 am. We made a meal plan and put everything in the cart the day before ($117.36, including tip).
Afternoon: I have my lunch break from noon to 1 pm. It doesn’t really matter when I take my lunch break, since I’m salaried, but the others in my office are hourly so in the before times we used to always close our office during the same time. I have a piece of leftover delivery pizza and some spinach risotto that I made a few days earlier. I also have half a brownie – the last one from a batch I made a few days ago (K gets the other half). He also has leftovers for lunch.
I should say at this point that both K and I are lucky enough to have been working almost entirely from home since early March. An area near Seattle was one of the first places to get hit by COVID-19, and my state and both of our employers have been taking it very seriously ever since. Working from home hasn’t always been easy since we live in a 600-square foot apartment. Also, there is a three-story townhouse being built directly next door to us and I can hear the pounding in my dreams at this point.
Around 2 pm, I go for a 2-mile run. I feel like some money diarists tend to toss off things like “oh, I went for an easy 7 mile run,” at the drop of a hat, so I want to be clear – running for 2 miles isn’t easy for me; it’s exhausting, annoying, sweaty, and generally gross. Also I am very slow. But it has kept me sane during quarantine.
Meanwhile, my husband goes to our local pet store to get an enzymatic cleaner (our cat peed in one of our suitcases… I think it’s probably a lost cause, but it was basically brand new, so worth a try) and special weight-loss cat food. Our cat is an 11-year-old rescue from the Humane Society and she is a chonky girl. We had to sign a waiver when we adopted her, saying that we understood that she was very overweight, lol. Our vet recommended a special diet food, rather than just restricting her intake as we have been doing, so we will give it a try ($78). My husband also stops buy our local wine store and picks up two bottles. We’ve been doing a dry January, so this will be our first drink for a while ($27.53).
I have a phone interview scheduled for 4 pm – just a preliminary interview with an internal recruiter. It’s the first ‘corporate’ job interview I’ve ever had, since I’ve been in academia my entire life. I’m trying to make a pivot into instructional design / training and development. I’m just excited to get an interview. It seems to go pretty well, but who knows. They tell me they will probably get back to me by the end of this week.
Evening: My husband whips up a random meal of fridge remnants – pesto pasta with sausage and a fridge salad with feta and bell peppers. It’s pretty tasty with a little Sauvignon Blanc. During dinner, we play a card game we call gin rummy, although it bears no resemblance to the actual game. After dinner, I make a chocolate cake with orange buttercream frosting and we watch Cobra Kai.
Daily total: $222.89
Day 2
Morning: Up early again, a piece of toast for breakfast (very exciting). We’re out of eggs until our Whole Foods order arrives. I’m working on creating some tedious but necessary spreadsheets this morning.
Noon: Our Whole Foods order arrives around noon. Excitement! They’ve given us a half-rotten bag of romaine lettuce and substituted pecans for hazelnuts. I should probably just double mask and go to Trader Joe’s myself (our regular spot, only a 5-minute walk from my apartment). I’m just getting anxious about these new variants.
I have leftover meatloaf and spinach risotto again for lunch. Lots of meetings and more organizing spreadsheets in the afternoon. Around 3 pm, I go for my daily ritual - a 20-minute walk around my neighborhood. It’s still raining slightly but I need to get out. Halfway through the walk, I get an email from my apartment manager telling me the apartment will no longer accept debit card payments, direct deposit, or credit card payments for paying rent. In other words, only checks or money orders (?!). Ugh. Our lease is up in 4 months and we will not be renewing our lease. Our last apartment manager was a gambling addict who may have been stealing people’s identities, but by God, he kept things working. Ever since they fired him, this place has been going downhill.
Evening: I check my bank statements to update my budget spreadsheet and realize that I have been billed the wrong amount of rent. They actually charged me less than they should have. I don’t trust my apartment manager not to start charging me a late fee or something for this, so I call them up. They are baffled by how to fix this, which you would think would be the one thing you would want to get right, if you’re renting out apartments.
K cooks dinner – steak with a Roquefort sauce and glazed brussels sprouts. It’s from a French cookbook we recently bought and it is delicious. I work on classwork for my certificate program while he cooks. After dinner, I do the dishes and buy the 13th season of RuPaul’s Drag Race. I watch the first episode – lots of shocking twists and turns! I’m planning to watch the rest of the episodes together with my younger sister, M ($22.01).
Daily total: $22.01
Day 3
Morning: K has an 8 am dentist appointment, so he takes off early. He already paid for the work last month, so there’s no charge. I have a piece of toast for breakfast and get to work checking my emails. It’s 8:20 am and the construction crew building a townhouse next door is blasting mariachi music. I’m glad someone is having fun. At least the sun is coming out.
Someone at work has made a critical error, but it wasn’t me, thank God. I was the one who found out about it, but it’s still going to cause a big old headache for me. I’m ready to be done with this job. K and I go for a run so that I can exhaust myself enough to no longer be furious about said careless error.
Noon: I have leftover spinach risotto and meatloaf again – exciting. I’m busy at work but frankly, not a lot going on other than that. Still no word about fixing my rent payments. I’m not really willing to pursue this any further at this point.
Evening: I start making chili (Turkey Chili from the NY Times) and cornbread (from my new cookbook, Jubilee). K is doing some work on our investments when he announces that, somehow, a transfer was scheduled from our checking account to our savings account of $55k (?!) We obviously don’t have $55k in our checking account, so we start frantically trying to figure out what’s going on. Numerous phone calls later, we still don’t know if that was a hack, if my husband somehow mistakenly scheduled the transfer himself, or if the bank messed it up. Either way, it doesn’t seem like any harm was done since the bank with our checking account just declined the transaction. But it seems really strange and worrisome. We get to work changing the passwords on all of our accounts, just in case it was some kind of hack.
After dinner (and chocolate cake), I have a Zoom happy hour with a local friend. We occasionally see each other outside but it’s nice to have a longer chat from the comfort of our living rooms. We both love murder mysteries, so we signed up for a service where a company sends us letters with clues and we try to solve the mystery together. It’s a fun way to stay connected and look forward to something during the pandemic. The service costs about $15 per month, but I paid for it in lump sum for 3 months, so it’s not included in my budget above. I drink some wine and we vent about work (we work at the same place) before getting started on the puzzle.
Daily total: $0
Day 4
Morning: I sleep in a bit, which is nice. Get up around 7 am. My parents are both getting their 2nd vaccine today – they’re both in their 70s and I am so relieved. I send my mom a “congratulations on being vaccinated!” text and we chat for a bit. I have leftover cornbread with honey and butter for breakfast – soooo good.
Work is not particularly exciting today, but someone sends me a last-minute request for something that does not need to be so urgent. I feel annoyed. Still no word from the interviewers on Monday, and I’m beginning to suspect I wasn’t selected to move forward. Too bad. K pays for a Wordpress website for the year (it’s a work-related website, but sadly his work doesn’t reimburse him). It costs $92.48.
Noon: The mariachi music is particularly loud today. I stand out on my balcony in the sun for a while and watch the workers. It’s been interesting seeing a house go up next door in real time, especially since I’m at home all the time. The workers are balancing on the top of the third story wall without, as far as I can see, anything like a safety line. It seems unsafe, but I presume they know what they’re doing.
We booked a cabin for the upcoming weekend in the Hood Canal region of Washington to do some hiking and birdwatching. I want to be as safe as possible and not go to any grocery stores or risk spreading COVID in any way while I’m there, so I place another grocery order with Whole Foods just for some special treats for the weekend. The cabin has a small kitchen and a grill, so we’re planning to make a fancy steak salad on Saturday. I order chips and hummus, some fancy cheese and meats, Tate’s cookies (I’ve heard a lot of good things about these), a baguette, and the ingredients for the steak salad. I also order a few staples I forgot in our last order, like sweet potatoes, more coffee, and half and half. It comes to $87.41, including tip, but that does include like $30 worth of steak. For some reason, I can’t order a small amount of steak online, so I’m planning to freeze half of it for later. (I include this purchase in our vacation fund budget, rather than under our regular grocery budget).
Around 2 pm, K makes a quick trip to our local wine store to buy an Oregon pinot noir and some port to enjoy at the cabin ($59.45). This store has an outdoor walk-up counter where you can tell the owner what you’re looking for, and he brings you some options (the store is way too small to allow customers to enter during Covid). It’s fun to chat with another human being, even briefly.
Evening: After work, we spend a little time rebalancing our investing and retirement accounts. We decide to put more money into bonds and a little bit into REIT’s as a hedge against a potential crash or recession in the future. Then I start making dinner – Broken Eggs (Huevas Rotas) from the NY Times cooking site. You basically cook the potatoes in a skillet in water, spices, and olive oil, and then sauté them to crisp them up once the water evaporates. Then you add onion, lots of garlic, and finally some eggs. It is delicious. I eat it with leftover cornbread while watching RuPaul’s Drag Race season 13 with my sister – we watch the first two episodes. It’s full of twists and turns. A note about this – we have an elaborate procedure for watching shows together developed during quarantine whereby we start the show at the same with an earbud in one ear, while FaceTiming. I also have chocolate cake, of course.
Later, I get an email that I’ve signed up for HBO on Amazon Prime. I definitely have not. I text my mom, who shares my account, and she tells me she signed up by mistake. I cancel right away and luckily they won’t charge us for it.
Meanwhile, K is doing an online Japanese language class over Zoom. He’s been interested in learning ever since we went to Japan last January. I lived in Japan for 3 years so I was able to take us around to a lot of more obscure places and he really enjoyed the trip – it was a blast.
K starts a YouTube yoga class (from Do Yoga With Me – my favorite channel) and I join him for part of it before bed around 10 pm.
Daily total: $239.34
Day 5
Morning: I get up around 7 am and we go for a run first thing. I prefer running early in the morning because there are fewer people to avoid during COVID. We do a different route today – it’s longer (3 miles) but has fewer hills. It’s a slog, as always, but I feel good when I get back right around 8 am. I jump straight onto my computer to start checking work emails and my husband makes us avocado and egg toast for breakfast - it is absolutely delicious.
We talk about how our bathroom smells distinctly mildewy (yay for being a grown-up because I guess this is what we talk about now) and we buy two big buckets of DampRid on Amazon ($26.60). I’ve found this to be a necessity in Seattle. Mid-morning, I take a break from work and start packing for our trip to the cabin.
Noon: I have leftover potatoes and cornbread for lunch, and my husband has the leftover chili. We finish getting ready to leave and head out right after lunch, taking a half day. The only problem is that I have attend a meeting at 3:30 pm, so we head out hoping to get there in time. Our cabin is near Quilcene in the Hood Canal region of Washington, about a 2 hour drive or a 2 hour ferry ride + drive. We are initially planning to take the ferry both ways, but realize that we mistimed the ferry departure, so we drive the whole way instead. Luckily, there’s little traffic mid-day, and we arrive at our Airbnb around 3:00 pm.
The Airbnb is beautiful! It’s a small cabin handmade by the owner, whose house is next door. It’s very rural, with a beautiful view. It’s tiny, but has a little kitchen and a waterfall-style shower with river rocks on the floor. It’s a great place to get away for a short time. Luckily, it also has good reception and I’m able to sit in on my meeting with no problems. My husband also does a little work, and then at 5 pm we’re free!
In our planning, we decided to get takeout on Friday night, since the little kitchen isn’t designed for any serious cooking. We call ahead to a local restaurant to order burgers (one of only 2 restaurants in the whole town). It’s around 5:30 pm and the place is deserted. It’s a microbrewery, but they tell us they haven’t been making beer since COVID-19 hit. None of the workers are wearing masks when I walk in, but they put them on when they see I’m wearing one. I pick up our order - a few bottled beers and burgers and fries ($49.52 including tip).
Back at our Airbnb, we watch Big Trouble in Little China and enjoy our very messy, but delicious, burgers (it costs $4.39 to rent). The movie is very campy but fun. I love silly action movies, as you will see with my other viewing choices. We wrap up the night in a very exciting fashion, eating chocolate cake and watching old episodes of the original Star Trek.
Daily total: $80.51
Day 6
Morning & noon: When we wake up around 8 am, the weather is looking thankfully clear and even sunny! We were expecting rain, so we’re really glad. We decide to go hiking today, and we head out before even having breakfast, with snacks and lunches packed. Our first destination is a hike called Mt. Zion, but unfortunately, we run into enough snow 2 miles before the trailhead that we decide to turn back. We don’t have any traction for our Subaru and don’t want to risk getting stuck on a very narrow mountain road. Instead, we drive another hour or so to the Lena Lake trailhead, a very popular and less strenuous trail. It’s about 7.5 miles roundtrip with 1200 feet of elevation gain.
By this time, it’s around 11:30, but luckily there is still parking. It’s a great hike up, and we run into relatively few people. We always mask up whenever we pass anyone, as does about 50% of the people we meet. The others… not so much. Around a mile from the lake, we start to run into snow. It’s turned into a beautiful sunny day, and I’m loving seeing all this snow! It’s a bit slippery, but not too bad. We make it to the lake mid-day, and it’s super jammed – there’s only a small viewpoint accessible, so everyone is crowded in there. I feel a bit uneasy with all the unmasked people, but we manage to find a spot away from the crowd and sit down to eat our lunch of apples, chips, and energy bars. There are a ton of robber jays there (Canada Jays) which try to eat our chips. It is fun watching them, but I’m annoyed to see some kids feeding them – it’ll just make them that much more aggressive. Bad trail manners.
On our way back down, we get stuck behind a group of 5 unmasked adults, who refuse to cede the narrow trail to faster hikers. I’m a slow hiker myself, so, to be clear, I’m not angry at slower walkers being on the trail but have some self-awareness and let people pass! especially if you’re going to go hiking in a big group during a pandemic! We finally get back down and head back to our Airbnb.
Evening: Back home, we explore some of the trails our Airbnb host has set up around his extensive property, and then relax on the deck. The sun is breaking through the clouds and it feels wonderful to sit out in nature and feel the sun on my back. We open up a bottle of wine and have a few pre-dinner snacks (more chips and hummus). For this night, we brought ingredients to make a steak salad. Our Airbnb host has kindly set up a charcoal grill for us, so we grilled the steak and toast some bread on the side.
We eat dinner while watching the truly terrible Jean Claude Van Damme movie Bloodsport and finish up the very last of my chocolate cake. It’s amazing that anyone ever let Van Damme act… or should I say ‘act.’ I also have a Tate’s chocolate chip cookie or two, accompanied by a little port. My husband and I are truly very old people at heart, so we finish up the night watching a few episodes of Columbo.
Daily total: $0
Day 7
Morning: Unfortunately, K had insomnia last night, so he sleeps in pretty late. I drink coffee in bed and enjoy looking at the view out our big windows. Once he’s up, we get packed up and write a thank you note for our host. It was a great stay.
One of my big hobbies is birding and K enjoys wildlife photography, so we go out to look for some lifers! (The first time you see a new species of bird). Did I mention we are very old people in (relatively) young bodies? We first go to Dosewallips State Park and see some bald eagles, great blue herons, lots of various ducks, and a flock of Canada Geese, which, strangely, includes a domesticated gray goose. He’s much larger than the Canada Geese and seems to be watching over them. It’s kind of cute. Unfortunately, a lot of the birds are too far from shore to be seen clearly.
Our next stop is Point No Point (I love all the sad & disappointed names that early Westerner explorers gave places in the Washington/Oregon coast), a popular birding spot. We see a ton of birds here, and I can understand why it’s so well-known - Red-Breasted Mergansers, Western Grebes, Common Goldeneyes, Pacific Loons, and a few others I can’t identify yet. Most excitingly though, we see a whole pile of otters! They’re lounging around together on a rock just offshore and a ton of people are watching. We watch as they all slip off the rock and go hunting in the shore. It’s my first otter sighting in the wild, and it’s so cool! We also see some seals and possibly a sea lion. It’s a great spot for wildlife. We eat some snacks (hummus, chips, some sliced meat & cheese) before we head out.
I really want to come back to this area another time and explore further, but K has decided that we need to get back home in time for the Big Game. We take the 3:00 pm ferry back to Seattle ($16.40) and get home around 3:45 pm. I veg out at home while my husband watches football. He’s a Patriots fan but he still loves Tom Brady (??) so he’s happy to see Florida win. I don’t understand sports team loyalties at all, but whatever, I’m glad he’s happy. We order from a new Indian place called Spice Box and get vindaloo, roganjosh, and vegetables pakora – so tasty ($53.96). Happily, there’s enough left over for lunch the next day, since I have no plans for what we will eat yet!
I’m really dreading work the next day, as I know that it will be obnoxious. I want to get out of my job so badly, but it doesn’t look like I’m going on to the next interview stage for the job I interviewed no back on Monday. I’m feeling kind of down about it. I try to stay positive and promise that I’ll apply for at least 2-3 new jobs next week. I bake up some frozen cookie dough I had in the freezer and feel sorry for myself. We end the night by watching another episode of Columbo.
Daily total: 70.36
Food + Drink: $395.23
Fun / Entertainment: $26.40
Home + Health: $26.60
Clothes + Beauty: $0
Transport: $16.40
Other: $170.48
Grand Total: $635.11
I think this week was pretty normal for us. Obviously we spent a bit more than usual due to the weekend cabin trip, but nothing outrageous. Our largest consumer spending category is definitely food and drink – we live in a very busy area of Seattle with tons of restaurants and bars so believe it or not, we actually used to spend even more on eating out. We still try to support our local places by getting takeout or delivery during the pandemic and even occasionally getting a few drinks outside. I spent more than usual on groceries due to stocking up for the weekend away.

I was desperate for a job.
My bank balance was giving me dirty looks. Why should it be any different?
I was living on a cash advance at 27% interest and I wasn't sure if I should go to Tijuana for 19 Coronas or take a flyer off the six story walkup in Brooklyn where I dwelt.
I was about to flip a coin when I got a LinkedIn notification on the new phone I could not afford.
This was odd because I had turned off notifications. All notifications. I just wanted some; peace. and. quiet.
The LinkedIn notification went a little something like this:
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Hey Kenneth. I know you'd be perfect for a once in a lifetime opportunity to help humanity and grow wealthy.
Hi Kenneth,
Hope you're doing great! But word on the street is you may not be...
Allow me to introduce myself.
My name is Korinna Klaus.
I represent a private equity backed startup that is looking for a software engineer and architect with extensive startup experience. You've been recommended to me by a mutual colleague and I have to say: I AM IMPRESSED. Your background is a perfect fit for this exclusive opportunity with my exclusive client.
Kenneth: This is not your normal startup.
We sought you because you have a reputation as an out of the box thinker who's willing to do whatever it takes to get the job done.
And since I KNOW you're a no-nonsense DOERr (sic) who tells it like it is; allow me to do the same.
Money is NO object.
Repeat. This client wants you and all you have to do is name your price. No screening. No background check. And a handsome signing bonus. I mean hey, Ken... what have you got to lose?
Due to the sensitive nature of this opportunity please call me on my direct mobile at the number below.
Yours truly,
Korinna Klaus
Head of Talent Acquisition
FFC, LLC
(Phone # redacted)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I looked at my dog Rudder.
He was counting on me to bring home the bacon. A roach crawled out of the sink full of dishes and empty Guinness cans.
"I've been here too long" I said to the empty room.
Wrong turn in Albuquerque
The whole thing stank like a weekend in Tijuana. I was not what you would call an expert architect or software engineer. I mean I could muddle through but I was what you call an accidental programmer. You see when I was young...
I had a Dream
FREE COMICS FOR CHRISTMAS - 1992
I was finally back in Park Slope after a seven year exile.
The momster had made good on her promise to have me out on my ass the day I turned 18. I had managed to make it through five years of SUNY, a year of law school and then when I saw my life flash before my eyes on one sunny afternoon in Camden New Jersey I knew I had to do something else with my life.
After a shitty job working for a ghoulish estate raider in the South Bronx I got a phone call with a "once in a lifetime" opportunity.
It was my Dad Herman.
The same Dad who let his retard wife slam the door in my face when the momster put me on the streets. The same Herman unit who let me sleep in a comic book store in the tenth grade for 26 days until the truant officers got involved.
"Just hear me out.
Mickey and me got the comic store right on the corner across the street from Kings Plaza. It's gonna be a gold mine. I know you're smart. I want you to run it. We can make millions!"
I had needed a job and Herman did have good weed so what the fuck; in for a penny, in for a buck.
The Big Light Bulb
A month later I was running the comic shop and one day while perusing our distributor's monthly catalogue I had a vision. What if....??
What if I started a club? What if I charged a yearly membership and gave a cool membership card. And every month my club members would order in advance from the same catalogue as the comic shops? And for a discount? Just like a comic store.
I should also add this was 1991 and comics were going through one of those Game Stop, real-estate, dotcom, tulip, comic book bubbles with 5 separate holofoil Robin #1 bullshit gimmick manufactured collectible covers guaranteed to put your kids through college; or more likely to sit in a dusty long box in your attic with all those Turok #0s with the chromium whatsis. Good times.
So I tried out my idea for a discount advance purchasing club in the comic shop and one day 25 people joined for 25 clams each. On the way home I stopped at my boy Foz's place in Chinatown and showed him the wad of cash.
"Wow dude." Foz said as he packed me a binger of the shwag.
"I wanna advertise in the whole Marvel line in November with a Christmas ad. It's twenty-five thousand clams but if we get a few thousand people to join we could make crazy jack bro!"
Skip to the important part....
After a lot of drama and ragging on his shwag Foz decided to take his last forty thousand bucks left from an inheritance of four hundred thousand pounds he blew through in just under three years.
"I'm in," he said and he was good as his word.
My father finally agreed to leave the comic shop and his retard partner Mickey and go big.
Two Months Later
I couldn't handle all the business. So we brought in all our friends from college as partners. One of them, Lou Toast, was supposed to write the software cause handling hundreds of comic book orders without computers was threatening to put me in bankruptcy before I was barely airborne.
Three Months Later: Software bug and thirty thousand dollars of orders goes POOF
Toast had a bug in the order processing program he wrote in FoxPro. Bam, just like that when our order to our distributor Heroes World was due he informed me, "Ooooh. It's all gone. I put the order in RAM and we had the blue screen of death and well, I gotta go meet Boy George."
What. The. Fuck.
True story. I told that motherfucker you sit your Boy George hardon back down in that seat and find me my comic book orders or so help me I'm gonna shove those Vienna sausages on your desk so far up your ass Boy George is gonna taste 'em backwards.
I loved Toast like a brother. And nobody cared if he was out of the closet either. But this was serious business and if I didn't get my order in we would lose our discount and take a bath and maybe the fat lady would sing before the first act was complete.
Toast and I brawled. Wren and Foz pulled me off him. I apologized. I felt awful. I told him it was wrong and I was sorry. He sat back down, did not go to presumably see Boy George and tumble for him. We all typed the orders back in the Lantastic of 386s and somehow I dodged that bullet.
However, I had a bigger problem. I needed software and I had tried everything. Hired a consultant who had created an app for the stores called, ACES. Adaptable Comic Entry System. It sucked and the dude always had an excuse; pneumonia, his mother jumped off the cloisters; name it. And here I had already paid him thousands; for nothing.
So I hatched a plan. I would lock myself in Foz' apartment in Park Slope for 3 months and learn how to program. I made a deal with Toast to stay another few months and help me take over the computers. I bought a book called Mastering FoxPro for Windows 2.5 and my descent into hell began.
Eventually I took over and was able to automate the entire business in a few years. We moved to a warehouse on Long Island and suffered through the....
COMIC WARS
The mid 90s was an ugly time for retail comics. The decade had started with almost ten thousand comic shops and scores of distributors and healthy competition. Then some yahoo at Marvel Comics decided to buy my distributor Heroes World and cut out all the other distributors from about 35% of their monthly gross.
It was a FUCKING DISASTER.
So after scraping by and falling deeper into debt year after year, unable to find financing, unable to successfully diversify I found a bankruptcy lawyer and I went belly up. I was thirty years old.
DOT COM BOOM
EARN $175 an HOUR - JAVA EXPERTS WANTED
Yep. I went from one bubble bursting straight into another. No I didn't make $175 an hour and I could never figure out Java. I found some FoxPro consulting work and for the next ten years I tried to learn it all. Visual Basic, SQL Server, ASP, ASP.NET, C#, Javascript, JQuery, NodeJS, MVC, and I kept working a year, finding myself unemployed for three to six months until I finally found an okay spot at the Bank of New York.
And then another Bubble; Sub-prime debacle.
After struggling to stay employed I finally found my spot and worked hard and by 2008 I talked them into paying me $800 a day. I was forty. I figured if I could just stay there it would be all right.
The Big Recession - All consultants must go.
Easy come, Easy go.
So.... I was out of work. Another bubble had burst. And then me and my best friend decided to launch a startup. Only I didn't know what the fuck I was doing. You see I never wanted to be a programmer. And yeah, I could program, and I could understand the deeper concepts but I could never hang with the real geniuses.
Face it Kenneth. You're just a hack.
So yeah, I created a music service just as the RIAA was successfully suing every music startup like Grooveshark right out of business. And I found myself 45, out of work, and deep in debt. Hibbity hobbity back to consulting.
Oh I could say I landed on my feet. I got a job as an architect straight away at Bank of America but three months later they did a re-org and I was told if I was in Charlotte they would have kept me. So the day before Thanksgiving they cut me loose. But my manager met me in the city to take back the laptop and buy me a pint of Guinness.
He looked me in the eye and said, "It's death by a thousand cuts."
I went to Southeast Asia on a lark for a couple of months and came back and found more work at Bank of America in Jersey City. Only the consulting company I was hired through was cut from their preferred list and my contract could not be renewed.
And then there was the 18 months at the Mossad psycho company where the owner kept talking some shit about pushing concrete barrels up a hill and I should work 18 hours a day if I was a man like him and well, it was fun watching his face melt in meetings but eventually the LSD stops working.
So I did what any other single maniac having a perpetual whole life crisis . I saw my Aunt in Tampa, drove to Fort Lauderdale to see my best friend and business partner who was just as deep in debt as I from our last venture.
We had one idea left.
A restaurant app my buddy thought up. We were going to make a developer who had worked for me at my last job as a partner and let him develop it but at the last minute his employer in Noida made him an offer he could not refuse and the kid begged off.
So I found myself in the Dominican Republic pounding away on the keyboard desperate to learn the Google Cloud, master Angular and NoSQL. You see as a programmer I am always a frustrated freshman. But when you need software and you ain't got two nickels to rub together you make do with what you got and what I had was me.
So I sat in that mold infested luxury hotel room on the beach and I began coding. Five months later I found myself in Mexico City in a run down apartment with no screens on the windows and a white female cat for company.
I had gotten tired of shooing the cat out and it kept freaking me out when I opened the bathroom door at 3am to take a piss and saw the cat sitting there like a dog its green eyes shining up to me.
One night while I was sleeping the cat put its paw on my chest and said, "they're coming for you." I was sure I dreamed it the next morning.
I drank a lot of Mexican beer, the cat always close by watching. I kept coding and then I came back to Brooklyn.
I had done it and all on my own. I had even written a business plan and created a pitch deck. I would hire a professional to polish it and then maybe, just maybe I could make good for once in my life. Get me and my partner in the black; for once. Just for variety.
NOT TO BE
And then the pandemic hit. Nobody going to restaurants. No business travelers. No nothing.
So I did what any other hard boiled shitty hack developer would do. I borrowed yet more money and kept trying to learn the latest skills. Docker containers. AWS Fargate. Azure. .NET CORE, Lambda expressions, and on and on ad nauseam. It was a curse.
And all the interviews with the endless technical questions that I spent endless time memorizing. All because of comic books? Boy George? The Napster? Who. The. Fuck. Is. Ruining. My. Life.
MEA CULPA
At a certain point you have to come to grips.
Here I was in about to exit the sunnyside of my 50s if such a thing could exist. I can't compete with the new wave of young modern developers who seem to know everything while I find myself continuously debugging and cursing and never able to compile the Microsoft sample github.
Basically I was a mess which brings us to last Thursday.
Hi Kenneth. I know you'd be perfect for a once in a lifetime opportunity to help humanity and grow wealthy
And here I am about to go belly up. I mean they keep knocking me down and I keep getting up but its been 50 years of broken home to foster care to mom to Dad to step-mother slamming the door in my face to sleeping in a comic book store in Bay Ridge and shucking rock for Joe Rockhead all the way to SUNY ghostwriting, law school drop out, comic jock, software consultant, music app wanna be, unemployed single and having to wear glasses and shave my head.
This is what is referred to as...
A Revolting Development
So I did what any other down on his luck red blooded American man would do; I called Ms. Klaus.
"Hi Kenneth!"
It was as if she was somewhere in her office looking at her watch and mumbling, "In 3, in 2 and ..." as I punched her digits.
"Hi Korinna. How are you?"
"I am FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC! Thanks for asking. But this isn't about me. This is about you Kenneth."
"Well what's your once in a lifetime offer?"
"Yes. Good. Good. Good," she said.
I said nothing which is something I wished I had learned to do long ago.
"Sure. Sure. You wanna know. Well I am going to tell you. We are running an entirely remote team launching a new technological service to a very exclusive clientele. A very bigly clientele if you catch my drift."
Did she just say, "bigly???"
"A very well heeled clientele if you know what I mean," she said and let it hang in case I wanted squeeze the Charmin.
"I'm listening," I replied.
My dog Rudder sniffed his balls and knit his eyebrows and gave me the, "I got a bad feeling on this one Dad," look I was all too familiar with.
Rudder was rarely wrong but I was rarely in a position to be choosy. I was an accidental programmer in a world I never created and each year that passed burned my ass worse than the one before.
"Kenneth. We are far along in our platform and we need a 'can-do guy'. Someone who can communicate. Tell it like it is, if you will. Are you following me?"
This was starting to sound like some government grade A bullshit.
"Well I've been working in Angular and I am okay at .NET and SQL but I still have to spend a lot of time on Google and StackOverfl-"
"Never mind that Kenneth. Tune in to what is happening here."
"Okay."
"We know about you. We know you came up hard. We know you made it through uni with high grades despite eating shrooms and acid and smoking weed incessantly. We know you were a ghostwriter. We know you witnessed a murder in Camden when you were in law school and had a breakdow-"
"OKAY!" I interjected. "I don't know what kind of bullshit scam you're running Karinna, Kristina,, or whatever the fuck your name is but yeah, you're right. We are in a fucking pandemic, I am trapped in an overpriced closet the last 20 years and I feel like a goddamned retard everytime I take a technical interview. As a matter of fact, I am probably the last person you want to lead your startup."
WHOAH. THAT DID NOT SOUND LIKE ME. I NEVER SHOWED.....
F.E.A.R.
This time it was Korinna who interjected.
"No you don't listen with your mouth Kenneth.
That's your mistake. What? You think you're special.
'Poor poor pitiful me?'
Well fucking Linda Ronstadt can't do concerts anymore and the world is fucking gone full blown Dr. Strangelove and you think being an iconoclast makes you special? Well I have news for YOU; it does! And we want to hire you. Today. Now."
I was going to tell her I had to think about it a bit.
I wanted to talk money.
But I didn't feel right. My palms were sweaty. My vision blurrier than usual. I took off my glasses and for a second I could see perfectly. Like when I was young.
It was a vision.
Like the vision I had the night when I was 5 in 1972. Right after I learned about betrayal.
They had conned me into getting my tonsils out by telling me that I could eat all the ice cream in the world I wanted. But that was bullshit because my throat was so raw that the ice cream cut like a knife but fuck YOU--Bryan Adams; it did NOT feel all right. So shove your na-na-na-NA-na-nahhhs right up your ass.
I remembered the Barbie face that materialized on my wall. Clear as day. Like an HDTV of the future. Only it was real and Barbie looked sexy AF. Only her smile changed. Pearly whites morphing into slime covered triangular gnashing machines. Eyes blood red crying tears of the same. And the laugh. It was the laugh that said you're whole world is about to change son. And you here have proof. A premonition to last your entire life. Like Sisyphus, Like Icarus... No matter how high you fly you'll always come crashing down.
The room spun. I felt the small hairs on my neck raise. I felt that Sunday night adrenaline dump hit my blood stream. Nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide. Can't fight. Can't flee. Just another Manic Monday coming your way. Just like any other day. Only you will keep losing. Endless unfulfilling meaningless to your existence. The women will see you as a compendium of check boxes on their to-do list. Over and over. The eternal return. Like Jorma's roommate Professor Manchester said, "Those olives WILL call to you in the middle of the night...."
I rubbed my eyes. I-I was crying. Blood. Rudder got up in my face and began licking it....
"Ken... Kenneth!! Tune in."
I had forgot all about the Klaus bitch. I was entering Coronaryville USA; populate; ME. WTF?!?!
My. Mother. Was. Back. And you're gonna be in trouble... Hey nah... hey nah....
It had been 35 years since I had cut bait. The bitch with the fast right hand. The hair puller. The avocado face monster who was always revoking my privileges and giving away my pets and sabotaging any shred of joy I might experience on this planet.
"I told you. You would fail. Just.Like.Your.FATHERRRRRRRR..."
My father Herman. Yeah you remember him. He who incidentally caught a heart attack and was found by my stepbrother with one hand in the air which was misinterpreted as a, "GTFO of my room," due to their OscaFelix ongoing Sanford & Son drama. Truth be told he got a little ripe there in the end.
God my fucking life flashed before my blood stained eyes. I wanted to fight.
Korinna said, "You have to hit rock bottom Ken."
And then I saw everyone ridiculing me. Ostracizing me. Bringing me to the gallows pole. I pissed my satin pajamas. The ones I had been wearing all week as my funk got industrial strength.
I. Felt.My.Mouth.Seal.Shut.
I could not speak. I could not scream.
"You don't listen with your mouth," Korinna said.
I cried harder. I wanted it to stop. It was like coming down off of all the cocaine in the universe. Mel Brooks anxiety would need a year of the endo to match the altitude of my anxiety. I wanted to die.
"If you kill Rudder it will end," Korinna said.
I saw Rudder. Lapping my face. Whining.
And then something odd happened.
It was like all the moments of clarity and enlightenment I ever experienced came together to let me see it all as an illusion. The fear. The mindless reaction. Kill me. Don't kill me. But shit or get off the pot. The audience is growing restless; trust me.
"You've got the job!" Korinna cooed.
"What?"
"Check your bank account Kenneth. Your business account. We've deposited a retainer for your first month."
I checked my bank balance.
I was bucks up. Enough to not only get me out of debt but my partner too! Almost to the penny.
I felt fear turn to relief; or was it greed?
"You felt it? Did you not?"
"What was that?" I asked.
"That Mr. Kenneth," Korinna said, "was the FEAR FREQUENCY. People are paying us a pretty penny for exclusive use of this very cutting edge technology. It makes dependency injection look like a hammer and anvil."
I ain't proud to say I took the job.
That was four months ago.
You won't believe this and I don't blame you. I don't expect you to.
I still don't. I don't even quite know what I am doing all the time.
I am monitoring three offshore teams. I believe the current state of the world has been induced or incited or catalyzed by the fear frequency.
I don't know how it is possible but after every project we complete; particularly with the team from Yerevan; the world grows a little darker and my bank account a little bigger.
I tried to resign a few days ago and the nightmares began. They gave me another raise and put me on probation. Korinna reminded me of the company's HR motto; FEAR IN-FEAR OUT
So next time you feel that free floating anxiety, the next time you start making decisions; life decisions; remember the frequency Kenneth; the fear frequency.

Submission statement: This is a short collapse story written by my good friend who died in 2019. He gave me a USB stick that contained some of his unfinished and completed work before he passed. As far as I know he only self published one novel on smashwords.com. He was not interested in fame or fortune but I know he would have wanted more people to read his work. I know nothing about publishing so I will submit this to collapse readers for your consideration. He wrote his novel under the pseudonym Gregory Truman and I will use that name as the author.
Oil on Mars
By: Gregory Truman
The shocking news was sent back to Earth by the lander Seeker relayed from its Martian atmospheric drone Revealer. The drone was sent specifically to check out the water seepage from the sides of the cliffs bordering the vast Valles Marineris canyon near the Martian equator. The seepage had been discovered from photographs taken on previous missions. The drone took samples hovering over several seeps and did an onboard analysis of the liquid’s content. The result was conclusive. It was a mixture of water and crude oil, equivalent to West Texas Intermediate.
This was unbelievable news. We had all been told that Mars was a dead world; completely lifeless. And that may be true recently, but scientists hurriedly hypothesized that over a billion years ago when Mars was temperate with oceans and rain, the land could have been covered with some kind of primitive plant life. There may even have been a Carboniferous like epoch that could have lasted for several hundred million years.
Just by looking at the highly eroded mountains of Mars and the ancient dry river beds and flood plains one can plainly see evidence of rain and floods and from the multiple times the water ice caps had melted that would have buried almost everything that once lived upon the surface. The combination of heat and pressure and time had done the same thing on Mars as it had done to deeply buried organic material here on Earth; it was transformed it into crude oil. The world was astounded. The debate started immediately; how to take advantage of this discovery?
Conditions on Earth had worsened since the beginning of the 21st century. There was still some oil in the ground, but it was costly to drill for it. The market for oil had been drying up for years, with very few planes still flying. The oil that was left was needed to generate electrical power. It was expensive and beyond the reach of most people who were still switching to bicycles to get around. The cities and suburbs and country side were mostly depopulated and littered with the hulks of rusting automobiles. Plagues, pestilence, bad weather and crop failure had more than decimated world populations. People had become resigned to a harsh world. Few had any hope for a better future. Governments and the ruling classes were more vicious in their attempts to hold on to their power and privileges. Every endeavor had been corrupted. Every attempted reform and revolution was ruthlessly crushed. Things were getting worse for the wealthy also. They were finding it difficult to buy wine, hire servants, and to eat fancy foods.
The economy everywhere had been propped up by cheap credit for decades. Profits and taxes had been strip-mined from every enterprise that used credit to survive and were soon bankrupted when credit was denied. There were not enough jobs, not enough customers, and not enough profits left to pay their debts. The world economy had not only stopped growing, it was continuing to contract.
The central banks of the world had tried flooding their markets with monetary liquidity, but they could not create more jobs. They reluctantly had to give free money to their citizens to increase spending and revive growth. In the U.S., to avoid another inflationary spiral the monthly stipend was only a little more than for subsistence, just enough to prevent more rioting. It wasn’t enough money to get people spending again the way they did before the crisis. Economists believed that growth could only begin again after a fresh start. But what could a government do to contrive a fresh start? Someone in a think tank convinced powerful people that what was needed was a new reason to grow the economy, some goal to revive the animal spirits of a dejected populace. This news from Mars seemed to provide the perfect prescription. Headlines and news channels around the world soon screamed out the idea: WE ARE GOING TO MARS!
Almost everyone knew it would be too expensive to ship oil from Mars to Earth, so the plan was to go to Mars and burn the oil there, to generate power for the first pioneering colonists. All the other products derived from petroleum would soon be available to those colonists from Earth. The public were told not to think too much about the details, those would be worked out by experts. The point to keep in mind was we were finally going to Mars! And that thought did arouse some animal spirits in a population that seemed to have lost all enthusiasm.
People wanted to know exactly who and how many were actually going. They were told that after careful screening, the number of colonists would be decided according to technical and practical considerations. Hopefully the minimum number would be around a dozen people for the initial launch and many more on subsequent launches. Everyone was encouraged to apply if they were interested in going, but they must be prepared for hard work to acquire the skills that would be needed for survival on Mars. The selection process would be long and arduous. The whole world would be contributing to this grand adventure; the expansion of mankind to a new world. Old rivalries would be forgotten as we forged a new commitment to the future of the human race. This optimism inspired more than a few to hope for a brighter tomorrow.
Many wealthy people had been preparing to retreat into their underground bunkers for years, when conditions became severe enough. They were hoping their precautions would allow them to ride out the projected mass extinction for a little while longer. Most had accepted that it was inevitable by then with the mounting evidence all around them. Some millionaires had become billionaires over the years buying out the means of production and the supply chains for the bare necessities of life the impoverished masses depended upon. The average person had no chance for any upward mobility.
Most of the public realized by then that the root of the problem had something to do with wealth inequality; the growing gap between the vast wealth accumulated by a few families and the poverty of the majority of people struggling just to survive. Whether this was the cause or a result of the decline, or if it was the fault of capitalism itself was hotly debated. The great grandchildren of the baby boomers had all grown up wondering how their elders could have been so complacent; satisfied with bread and circuses instead of addressing or even acknowledging the growing crisis. Older people often defended themselves with standard responses: We didn’t know; we were preoccupied with personal problems; we had no real power to change anything; and life is short, we did not evolve traits to cope with long range problems. These and other excuses were unacceptable to the young. Many were becoming increasingly angry by the fact that billionaires could exist in this world while millions of people, mostly children, starve to death every year. To them, this was proof enough of a great crime against humanity. And this was an ongoing crime, because when wealthy people died their great fortunes lived on and continued to grow as they were passed down within the family to the next generation of trust fund babies, who would acquire that wealth only by an accident of birth.
This process of wealth accumulation and inheritance appeared to be a hold- over from at least the feudal times of lords and kings in the middle ages. The lords would take a percentage of the peasant’s crop. More recently they take a share of income. But there are still no taxes on wealth. There have been some improvements in human affairs over the centuries but the rules of wealth and inheritance remain unreformed most likely by the power of the wealthy themselves who have institutionalized and benefitted from the status quo. Those people who cared enough about this problem could not see a way to remedy the inequity. To do so would require major changes to the political and economic system, but none of them could even conceive of a way to accomplish the drastic reforms necessary to make those changes. And even if there was a way to do it, they knew the vested interests of big money would never allow those changes to happen. The situation appeared hopeless. A growing percentage of the world’s population were angry, believing that one way or another; the rich still ruled the world and were ultimately responsible for most of the suffering in it.
Very wealthy people were often vilified for their avarice and sometimes physically attacked in their homes and fortified compounds. In spite of their precautions, they were increasingly anxious about the locations of their bunkers becoming known. They could no longer feel safe anywhere. They were becoming so afraid of their less fortunate neighbors that several billionaires petitioned the government to grant them passage to Mars, and they were willing to pay their own way to get there. They hoped they could maintain their lifestyle in a more secure place, and possibly even escape the progressing mass extinction here on Earth.
Because of the lost tax revenue from the financial collapse, the U.S. government always needed more money that it didn’t have to barrow or create for itself. It had become accustomed to accommodating the well to do and making promises it could not keep. So it just made sense to take some wealthy families to Mars if they would be willing to pay the exorbitant ticket price of 500 million dollars per person. A few in the top tenth of the one percent were eager to pay that amount for each family member if it meant a continuation of their privileged life on another world they believed would be safer from the risk and the squalor on this one. For their financial help they demanded and were promised their own small city of rich people where they would not be troubled by rubbing shoulders with the technical rabble that would be needed to maintain the colonies. The cost of the Mars project was estimated to approach half a year of the United States’ gross domestic product. The public were told this infusion of funds from the world’s wealthiest families would help to mitigate that cost by many billions of dollars. Even though they would contribute nothing else to the project, their money made it worthwhile to take them along.
Needless to say, there was a huge amount of skepticism about this plan. The Russians and the Chinese were the first to pour cold water on the scheme. They would not participate in what they called a desperate boondoggle by a degenerating empire to swindle the last remaining wealth from its people. The scientific community was divided. Most reputable scientists scoffed at the idea, calling it impractical to impossible. Others, especially from the aero-space and mining industries and those receiving grants from the government, supported the plan. Economists believed it would revive the economy with large construction contracts and increase employment. It didn’t seem to matter to them if the project succeeded or not. Most of the public who were never going to Mars were against the idea. Even those who were uninformed about all the technical problems involved laughed about it. Rational objections were raised about every aspect of the plan and responses to them were supplied by the president and his supporters. Here are some of those objections:
Q. There is no oxygen on Mars. What will people breathe? And how can you burn the oil without oxygen?
A. “We will take enough oxygen to Mars to get us started. Scientists from the mining industry are working on extracting oxygen from Martian mineral deposits.”
Q. There is no energy source on Mars. Where will you get the power to do anything?
A. “A small nuclear plant will be set up on Mars initially. It will be cooled by melted water ice dug out of the sub-soil of Mars. Eventually there will be oil fired power plants. Adding more carbon dioxide to the Martian atmosphere will actually help to warm the planet in the long run.”
Q. How will you get the oil out of the ground? From the seepage on the canyon walls the oil deposits are believed to be more than six miles deep.
A. “We will drill laterally from the seeps in the canyon walls.”
Q. There is no real soil on Mars. How will you grow any food?
A. “Most food will be grown hydroponically. We will take some soil with us and create more using Martian dirt. We will only have to take food with us in the beginning.”
Q. Almost everything you need must be taken with you to Mars. How much material by weight must you take to support one person for one year?
A. “At first supplies per person will be quite substantial. Heavy lift robot transport rockets will be built to move supplies to Mars before humans are sent there.”
Q. There are harmful cosmic rays, solar radiation and small meteors reaching the surface of Mars. How will your habitats be protected?
A. “Habitats will be constructed mostly underground. Boring machines will be sent to Mars before people arrive, with enough fuel and oxygen to run them when they do.”
Q. The amount of sunlight reaching Mars will not allow you to grow crops the way we do here on Earth. How do you plan to solve that problem?
A. “We will use grow lights and solar collecting and distribution mirrors.”
Q. How long will it take for humans to become self-sufficient on Mars?
A. “Current estimates are in about ten years.”
Q. That seems overly optimistic. Most scientists say it will take at least twenty years. How did you derive your estimate? And we don’t have twenty years left.
A. “The President has determined that all these challenges will be overcome. Idle speculation of this sort does not help us accomplish our goals. We should all be grateful for the jobs and opportunities this great endeavor has provided for us, and we should all get back to work.”
Despite other objections from many quarters the program was rushed through congress and approved. The European Union soon backed out of the deal, with one French wag declaring the Americans had discovered a new way to dig holes and fill them in again. Contracts were let to major defense contractors and smaller companies also got onto the gravy train. Finally even the Japanese and the British dropped out and the Americans, as the self-proclaimed leader of the free world, had to soldier on alone.
Only a few people would be going to Mars and the rest would have to stay on this world that was rapidly winding down to ruin. It was difficult for most of them to get excited about this grand enterprise. They respected the brave and well trained Martian colonists with whom they would vicariously share the great adventure. But they had developed a loathing for the wealthy people they viewed as parasites attaching themselves to the best of humanity and escaping from a world they had already wrecked with their greed. The common belief was those billionaires would end up ruining Mars too.
Within two years the first of the robot freight hauling ships was launched towards Mars. No more would be launched before the first one touched down successfully after a seven month journey. It was on a one way trip; there was no fuel to send it back. Some of its parts were designed for duel use by the colonists when they arrived. They would dismantle the ship and use many of its parts for other construction. The first of the colonists would be a skeleton crew of technicians to prepare quarters for the next group to arrive.
During the next three years fourteen more robot transport ships landed on Mars, four more than originally planned. The project was now a year behind schedule. Three trillion dollars had already been spent. Project designers refining the plan discovered unexpected expenses and huge cost over runs in every department. The cost in fuel alone to lift miles of insulated steel pipe into orbit far exceeded the original allocation for the task. Another nuclear power plant had to be constructed and shipped to Mars just to heat enough water pumped into those pipes plus the chemicals needed to make the oil eventually flow. More containers of compressed Earth atmosphere and oxygen were needed to supply the growing list of the world’s billionaire families who were buying tickets to escape from the depredations in their lifestyle here on Earth. Many complained about having to live like the peasants around them. Their luxuries were becoming almost impossible to find.
The government early on had classified the whole project. Cost over runs and promises never meant to be kept were a routine method of government operations. They accepted any prospective migrant willing to pay for a ticket. The government would not give up that revenue stream. Even pets were accepted; 300 million for a dog, 200 million for a cat, 100 million for a bird. They drew the line at hamsters or rats. They knew the project was over-extended but as with the F35 fighter jet, the usual solution for government failure is to throw more money at the problem.
Public relation firms were hired to give periodic optimistic progress reports about the project. Commercial artists were employed to render beautiful Martian landscapes featuring futuristic looking colonial buildings and enterprises that were displayed on television and over the internet. By then most of the world’s billionaires had decided that the option of living on Mars was their best choice to insure the safety and the future for themselves and their heirs. There were now more billionaires going to Mars than the trained specialists needed to maintain the colony.
Within the nexus of the classified program were the intelligence agencies with access to all the data. They could see the project for what it truly was; an out of control boondoggle just as their presumed enemies had described it. The wealthy and well-connected had swindled the American public once again. Some of the perpetrators who became billionaires embezzling government funds had themselves bought tickets, unaware that the project had become a complete scam. There was not going to be enough money to build a city for the wealthy people. There was not enough equipment or supplies for half the people signed up to go or enough rockets to carry them all to Mars.
Those intelligence agencies considered it their duty to cover up government ineptitude and to extricate politicians from policies and situations that would make them look like complete fools to the rest of the world. It had always been a tough and nasty job and they were not known for their scruples while doing it. The U.S. government had no intention of refunding billions of dollars to billionaires. To accomplish the government’s objective the agencies came up with a plan that also included, as an incidental bonus, a remedy for the wealth inequality dilemma.
Revisions to the project’s schedule were forcefully suggested. Notice was given to the ticket holders that they would all be leaving on the last rocket to Mars after the elaborate preparations for their arrival were completed. They would embark on the journey in a completely refurbished freighter with all the amenities they were accustomed to. Some passengers demanded to leave sooner, conditions on Earth were getting just too insufferable to stay any longer they complained. They were mollified with illustrations of the luxurious state rooms, the fine dining opportunities and the grand ballroom aboard the ship.
Seven years after the first appropriations from congress, and two and a half years behind schedule, the first of the highly trained colonists were launched into space for the historic trip with great fanfare. Social interactions among the twelve crew members were avidly followed by the world’s citizens during that long journey to Mars. Some of the live coverage was real and some was scripted to enhance the drama. Four more ship loads of astronauts, engineers, scientists and technicians eventually touched down on the red planet. For the foreseeable future, those sixty pioneers would be the full complement of humans on Mars.
They managed to get the small nuclear plant at the base camp working well enough, but the one designed to pump hot water to liquefy the oil had broken off the cliff edge during assembly and tumbled down the boulder strewn slope to the bottom of the Valles Marineris Canyon. The technicians never did get the hydroponics going, but there would be enough food and oxygen to last for several years if the wealthy families were not coming. On the advice of the intelligence agencies, and after spending more than eight trillion dollars, the politicians and those in charge had secretly decided to cut their losses and pulled the remaining funding from the project.
As the last great ship filled with over seven hundred wealthy colonists on their way to the fabulous new city on Mars, they were relieved of their cellular devices as they entered. They were informed their use could interfere with the ship’s operations, and they would not work at all on Mars. Accommodations inside the ship were nothing like those they had seen advertised. There were no crew members on board. Not a single acceleration couch could be found, just empty decks and compartments stripped bare of equipment and supplies. It was too late to complain about them. They lifted off automatically at the appointed hour but failed to reach orbit and burned up in the atmosphere over the Atlantic Ocean. A technical error was blamed for the mishap. The intelligence agencies and most of the people on Earth cried only crocodile tears for those who had been lost, believing both Mars and this old world would stand a better chance without them.

I am 27 years old as of today! As I wrote this diary, I realized that my life is pretty boring right now. I also didn't get too deep into my work, because attorney, and because it's pretty boring this week.
I wish we could have more in savings right now, but I never came from an enviroment that encouraged responsible savings, nor have I ever had the privilege of having enough to put in savings. Until now. My husband has come from a place of privilege, so he's gotten to see firsthand what it's like to not have it.
Section One: Assets and Debt
Retirement Balance: $6,622.23 in a 401K I get through work. I just started qualifying for the 401K in April of this year. I contribute 10%. My employer does not match anything, unfortunately. I’m not sure how much my husband has in his teacher account. Additionally, I have $1,300 in a Roth IRA I started at my old job which had no benefits. I haven’t contributed to my IRA in a few months because…
Equity if you're a homeowner: We just bought a house at the end of September! We did not intend on buying a house yet, but an offer came up in my hometown that was too good to pass up. We bought the house for $120,000, we put down about $6,500, and the house is estimated to be worth about $180,000 without any repairs (of which it needs many.) We do not intend on living in this house, because I don’t want to live across the street from my parents. Hopefully, repairs will be done before the end of the year and we can start getting renters in. The current plan is to rent it out for a year, and then sell it.
Joint Savings account balance: $1,000.00. See above. We’ll work on replenishing this once repairs are done.
Joint Checking account balance: $11,588.05 in our joint account on the date of publishing, following receipt of my $8,000 bonus last month. We are about to pay $8,000 to fix the foundation in our house, so we have everything in our checking account. Additionally, we’ll have to pay for labor to pull out the rugs, paint, etc. And we need to buy new appliances because the appliances in the house are definitely the original from 1968.
Credit card debt: None. Everything is paid off monthly on both accounts. I think we both individually pay about $2,000 per month on our credit cards. Sometimes less, rarely more. I don't ask him what he buys, and he doesn't ask me either.
Student loan debt: $218,719.16 for my undergrad (about 9K left) and law degree (the rest). I am a first generation college graduate and my parents had nothing to provide me except their love and support. They always told me education was the most important thing, and for that, I am eternally grateful. It’s just another payment, and I wasn’t going to let that stop me from living the life I wanted. For now, I am on an income based repayment plan and hopefully it will be forgiven in 2030.
My husband has no student loan debt, which is great because I have enough for both of us.
Extra: My husband has a trust left behind by his grandpa. He has never touched it, and does not have plans to, until maybe we buy the house we will actually live in.
Section Two: Income
Income Progression:
I got my first job in college because I was a young graduate and never had a high school job. I worked at the university dining hall making 8.50/hour. It was a glamorous year. The following two years, I worked for an attorney in town and decided that I wanted to go to law school. I made 10/hour for about a year and a half, and then 12/hour when I graduated and kept working there until I left for law school.
During law school, I did not work, because it was just not feasible. I had internships in the summers, of which three were paid. One was a federal judge internship, where I was paid a stipend at the end of the time, and they also paid for parking. One was back at the firm I worked at in undergrad, and I got paid a lump sum to be a legal assistant for half a summer. The third was at the city attorney’s office, and they paid $20/hour. I had never gotten paid that much in my life and I was thrilled.
Out of law school, I started working at a plaintiff’s law firm, and I made $55,000 until I passed the bar, at which point, I got a raise to $80,000. I hated being a plaintiff’s lawyer, and got out after six months. After that, I worked at an insurance defense firm, where I made $65,000 for six months as a trial period, and then $80,000 again. That firm environment was not healthy, and I got out after about a year and a half. I was unemployed for about three months and got by on my savings. Then I got the job I have now, where I bill less hours, and make more money. I have been at this job for a little over a year.
Main Job Monthly Take Home:
5,552.04 (me) 3,331.96 (h) after taxes, health insurance (we each pay our own), etc.
Side Gig Monthly Take Home
We both tutor (him math, me English) on the side with a friend who organizes it all. Our profits have increased each month since we started. In August, we made $190, in September we made $593, and in October we made $775. Current November profits are $916 and the month is only halfway done. I anticipate that this number will keep increasing as we get more students. This money is used on house expenses. Maybe after we get renters in, this money will go towards student loans.
Any Other Monthly Income Here
None yet! Hopefully our time as landlords starts soon!
Section Three: Expenses
Rent / Mortgage / HOA fees: $1,900.00 in rent for a two-bedroom, two-bathroom, 1100 sq. ft. apartment, including all water, sewage, valet trash, and pet rent. $1,015.00 for our mortgage while we are repairing and having to pay for it on our own, and no HOA fees. Once we start renting the house out, we will not have double payments.
Renters / home insurance: Renters is $35.23/month. Home insurance was paid for the first year as part of closing. It was $1,200 for the first year.
Retirement contribution: none that wasn’t previously discussed.
Savings contribution: TBD once the house is done. It was previously around 10% of my paycheck and I think my husband contributed the same.
Investment contribution: TBD once the house is done. It was previously $75/month. I also have an acorns account that probably gets about $15-20/month. It currently has about $220 bucks in it, but I have had to withdraw from that account when times were hard.
Debt payments: Currently nothing. Focusing on the house for now.
Donations: I donate $10/month to the ACLU. We also foster kittens through our local shelter.
Electric: $102.39 last month. This bill is starting to go down now that it’s *finally* cooling off
Wifi/Cable/Landline: $50.27/month
Cellphone: $70.66/month for me. My husband is still on his parents’ plan.
Groceries: We spend about $60/week on grocery delivery from Imperfect Foods. Every couple of weeks we’ll go to the grocery store and pick up anything we didn’t get delivered. Those days can range from $40-$100, and it’s only every few weeks.
Gas: Maybe $50/month? My commute is short, and I don’t go to any other places anymore.
Eating in: $40-70/week. We’ll order food once a week. It helps me feel normal and not like my life is a never ending series of cooking and cleaning.
Subscriptions:
Netflix: $14.99. I pay for it for myself and my parents and brother
Hulu: $11.99. Same
Spotify: $14.99. Family plan for me and my husband because he didn’t use spotify beforehand
HBONow. I think it’s $15.00. My husband pays for this
We mooch off of someone for Disney+
Book of the Month: $10.00/month. I love to read, but at a truer level, I love to own books. I will never get through my reading list, but I’ve come to terms with it.
NYTimes: $6.38/month
Winc: $60.00/every other month
Gym membership: $42.22 for the Peloton classes, and $74.78 for the bike itself. I got it for 0% APR and it will be paid off in three years. If it were not for the house, I would have paid this all off already. It’s been a great purchase and I fully recommend it.
Pet expenses: between $80-100/month. The cats are bougie and get fancy food from PetCo. One is also fat, but we’re still working on that. This may increase depending on if we have fosters, which we do right now.
Car payment / insurance: My Rav4 payment is $334/month and car insurance is $90/month. My husband’s car is paid off and I think his dad still pays the car insurance because it’s cheaper that way. (P.S. if anyone has advice on refinancing your car, please share! The thought terrifies me)
Regular therapy: I think my insurance is covering my co-pay right now because I am not paying anything for therapy right now.
Paid hobbies: None. The Peloton is my paid hobby.
I’d like to note that most of my expenses are paid on my credit card and then paid off every month. I may not be able to use those sweet, sweet points yet, but once we are free, I’ll be at an airport as often as possible.
Section 4: Money Attitudes
Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If so, how did you pay for it?
Yes, there was always the expectation that I attend university. My parents both immigrated to the US in their early 20s and did not attend college. They both always told me that education was the most important thing, and the only thing I could take with me. In application, this got a little more complicated because my parents did not know how higher education worked. I had to do all the research regarding college applications, the SAT, scholarships, FAFSA, etc. because they didn’t know how any of it worked. When I applied for FAFSA the first time, my mom had me sit down and read all the fine print to make sure I knew what was happening. However, once I applied to law school, my parents asked why I didn’t just go to law school, and why I had gone to undergrad. It took some explaining for them to realize that I needed a Bachelor’s degree before going to law school. I had to pay for all of it through loans.
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have around money? Did your parents educate you on finances?
My parents were not great, and still are not great, at finances. I knew my mom spent too much money on the credit cards, and my dad has frequently pulled out of his 401k. My dad told me too many details about the household finances that I did not need to know as a child.
What was your first job and why did you get it?
I got my first real job in college because my parents could not support me.
Did you worry about money growing up?
Constantly. See above for my dad using me as an emotional support daughter.
Do you worry about money now?
In theory yes, because I’ve never known how to not worry about money, but in practice, I recognize that I am living a life my parents could have never dreamed of, and I am not irresponsible with my money. I could stand to be a little more frugal, but I worked hard to enjoy my life now, not later.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
I became financially independent at the age of 17, when I got dropped off at my dorm. My parents gave me $200, and that was it. I think they may have bought me groceries once after that.
Section Five: DIARY TIME!
Tuesday 11/10
6:30 a.m.
I asked my husband to wake me up early because the foster kittens needed to go to the vet. Quarantine has wrecked any aspirations I used to have about being a morning person. Now I am bitter and groggy. He kisses me goodbye, and goes off to work.
6:45 a.m.
Okay, I’m up. I feed the foster kittens, feed our cats, and do some chores I will not have time to do later today, mainly dishes and general clean up around the apartment.
7:15 a.m.
I get dressed and make myself breakfast. Two eggs, two vegan bacon slices, and an avocado. I let the kittens out for a while so they can get some energy out.
7:50 a.m.
I’m off to the free vet at the animal shelter. The kittens have had soft stool for a while, but since they are older than the ones I normally get, I hoped they would resolve it on their own. Alas, they did not, and it is time to get it resolved. While driving over there, I make some calls for my volunteer work which I have not had time to make previously. I volunteer with Child Advocates, which is the Houston branch of CASA. Three calls total, and that’s off my plate, finally.
8:30 a.m.
No one has come out to help me at the shelter, so I have to get out to find someone.
9:00 a.m.
Medication obtained, and I need to go back home to administer medication and drop them off.
9:20 a.m.
Kittens medicated, and I’m off to work.
9:30 a.m.
Work! Why they made us come back into the office is beyond me, but at least I get my triple screens.
10:00 a.m.
My husband is a teacher, and I asked for his google classroom link because I just wanted to hear his voice during the day. We’ve both been going through it lately, so the support is appreciated on his end as well. I keep his algebra class on in the background while I work.
11:30 a.m.
My mind starts to wander, and I open ASOS to browse. I buy a dress that I’ve been eyeballing for a few days, and I justify it as a birthday present to myself. I can probably wear it to work.
$89.95
12:45 p.m.
I’ve put off eating long enough. I go downstairs to the cafe and get a salad and some chips. I am participating in a weight loss challenge at work, so I try to eat healthy. I also run into my coworker downstairs and we chat on our way back up. I also FINALLY fill my water bottle today. I’m permanently dehydrated, it’s fine.
$8.96
1:45 p.m.
My husband’s geometry class. I sit in again, and even participate a little bit!
6:00 p.m.
Time to head home. I’m beyond exhausted. And I should still have a long night ahead of me. Instead, I drive around the neighborhood park for Pokémon Go related reasons and it makes me feel better.
6:45 p.m.
Normally on Tuesdays, I spend the whole night logging my billing. I should do it as I go, this I know, but I hate doing it and I don’t want to. So I do it on Tuesdays and usually spend the entire evening doing it. Right now, I would rather sit and cry, but instead, I start making pasta sauce for spaghetti squash.
7:00 p.m.
I turn on Dancing with the Stars and all three kittens fall asleep on me. I am trapped forever now.
8:00 p.m.
Dinner time! Homemade sauce with mushrooms and greens, all on top of spaghetti squash. I make sure to have plenty for leftovers. My husband and I turn on game shows because it feels like a mindless tv night. Billing? Who is she? I will regret this later. Meanwhile, my husband and I talk about how down we’re feeling, and try to make each other feel better. They say the first year of marriage is the hardest, but nobody planned for a global pandemic.
10:00 p.m.
I do a face mask for the first time in forever. My skin went to absolute shit after switching to the mini pill in May, and I finally went to the dermatologist to fix it. It’s been about a month and a half with spironolactone, Epiduo, and sulfur face wash. My skin purged terribly, and I could not stop picking at it. So I do a brightening face mask to help even out the skin tone. My husband records a video for class, and I keep Jeopardy on in the background. RIP Alex Trebek. Around this time I stare at my briefcase some more. This is the first time in eight months I have not done my weekly billing timely and I feel the laptop boring into my soul. However, the exhaustion goes down into my bones. There is no shaking this. I’ve been feeling like this for a while, and my therapist said it was probably depression. She also frequently tells me to do self care, which I am terrible at. With all this in mind, I resolve to be okay with not billing tonight and just exist for the rest of the night.
11:40 p.m.
I start getting ready for bed. Nighttime face routine, brushing teeth, feeding kittens, and putting the food away. I’m exhausted, and I go to bed.
Daily Total: $98.91
Wednesday 11/11
8:00 a.m.
I barely registered when my husband left this morning, and I start to come into consciousness. This is a more normal start time for me. Yes I got eight hours of sleep, but I do not feel any less tired.
8:12 a.m.
My birth control alarm goes off so I have to get up.
8:17 a.m.
I check my work email and see that I missed a call from someone I needed to speak with ASAP. I call him from my cell phone. He doesn’t need to know that my hair is sticking out like a Cynthia doll and that my vision is still blurry. I get things resolved, all is good. Meanwhile, I feed the cat squads and pop some waffles in the toaster. I promptly forget about them and shower quickly. I grab the waffles after showering, taking the rest of my meds, moisturizing, brushing teeth, etc etc. As I’m about to head out the door, I realize I still need to medicate the kittens. I do that quickly, and head out the door.
9:10 a.m.
I’ll be real. I don’t feel bad about leaving for work after 9. My commute is exactly 10 minutes long and they don’t care when I show up, as long as I do the hours. Being a lawyer has plenty of stress and exhaustion, but this part is pretty chill.
9:20 a.m.
Oh look, I’m at the office.
10:00 a.m.
I log in to see my husband, but apparently he left work early because he didn’t feel good. I text him to see if he needs anything.
As I work, I munch on some pomegranate seeds that I cut out my poms last night. Why did I wear white pants today though?
12:30 p.m.
Lunch time! I heat up some spaghetti squash and sauce and go back to my office. All the legal assistants were sitting in the break room and it was too many people for my comfort. To be fair, all the legal assistants sitting together was already too many people for my comfort before the pandemic.
2:30 p.m.
Zoom call with a client for deposition prep. It goes fine, no issues. This is important.
3:30 p.m.
Deposition. First half hour, the client could not get the sound to work, so I just called him on my cell phone and put that up to my computer to work as the sound. We get through half an hour of deposition and then his phone dies. We try to get him back for twenty minutes before we just call it and agree to reset. I am mortified. It’s not my fault, but I’m still the lawyer and we take responsibility for the mistakes. I call my boss and let him know what happened.
5:45 p.m.
After that debacle, I work a little bit longer and then head home to make sure my husband is okay. As I pull into the parking lot, I note there is a food truck downstairs! My husband said he wanted to order food tonight, so maybe we can do this instead so as to not pay for delivery fees.
6:00 p.m.
Tutoring! This student has a test on Lord of the Flies tomorrow, so we go over her test review. I read Lord of the Flies in the eighth grade, so I tried to skim over it before tutoring, but I do have to rely on Sparknotes for some details. I can easily discuss themes with her, and she feels much better.
7:00 p.m.
My husband went downstairs while I tutored and got us dinner on his credit card. He is tutoring a different girl now for math, so I eat half my veggie burger while he works. I lay down on the sofa and read Wow, No Thank You by Samantha Irby for a while.
9:30 p.m.
Time to turn on the Bachelorette. It’s Tayshia’s first episode, and we’re ready for it. My husband is also a little in love with her, and I completely understand. Honestly, same.
Sometime around 11:45, I doze off on the sofa. My husband gets me up and I relocate to the bed without brushing my teeth or moisturizing. It’s one of those nights.
Daily total: $0 from me. I didn’t ask how much the burgers were.
Thursday 11/12
7:30 a.m.
I wake up feeling surprisingly rested. Maybe I’ll do a quick ride on the Peloton!
7:50 a.m.
LOL nope. I fell asleep again. But this time, I resolve to at least do an arm workup for the tricep challenge on peloton. I feed the cat parade first and turn on a 10-minute class. After that, I get dressed, and even put on makeup! Man, I feel like a woman. I balance this out by running out of time to eat breakfast. Oh well.
9:10 a.m.
Work! I left a pear here, so that’s my breakfast.
10:00 a.m.
Joining the algebra class again. They’re learning the formulas for horizontal and vertical lines and I actually remember this! But my office neighbor is here and in a hearing, so I keep the volume down low.
12:10 p.m.
Lunch! More leftover spaghetti squash. It was a huge squash and I’m getting as many meals out of it as I can.
12:39 p.m.
After three and a half days, I finally finish medical record review in one case. Time to move onto medical record review for a different case. There are more records in this one.
2:45 p.m.
I’ve gotten through two hundred more pages, so I go make some matcha. I keep a jar of matcha green tea latte mix from Trader Joe’s at work so I can make that whenever the mood strikes.
3:30 p.m.
Not so embarrassing confession: I still play Pokemon Go. I rarely spend money on it, but I don’t have a remote raid pass, so I put up the ninety-nine cents to get it.
$0.99
6:00 p.m.
I work until 6, at which time I have therapy. I stay at my office for therapy, because I’m too lazy to drive back home beforehand. We talk about the holidays, fears, my parents, and continued burnout. I resolve to talk to my husband about not going to his family’s for Thanksgiving.
7:00 p.m.
Therapy’s done, so I pack up and go home. I leave my work laptop at work because I need to be better about boundaries.
7:30 p.m.
My friend wanted to do a ride together on the Peloton. I let her pick, which was a mistake. She chooses an Alex Toussaint ride and we nearly die. While we ride, I ask my husband to peel sweet potatoes and press tofu. I should have asked him to press tofu earlier, but I didn’t figure out dinner until an hour ago.
8:00 p.m.
I boil the sweet potatoes and start making sauce for the tofu. Sauce is miso, fig jam, peanut butter, soy sauce, and honey. *Chef’s kiss* I also boil some ears of corn. Once I mash the sweet potatoes, I grab a mandarin and juice it. This is the best dinner I’ve made in ages. Baked tofu with miso sauce, sweet potato mash with orange juice, corn, and salad. I’ve peaked. While we eat, my husband and I talk about the holidays. He has students in person again, aside from the online classes, so he can’t realistically isolate anymore. His parents are older, and his brother just had a baby. We know his family really wants to see us, but it’s just not safe. The US just hit 150,000 cases today.
We make the call to my mom first, because we had previously discussed taking my 14-year-old brother. My parents are not very celebratory this year (heyo therapy), so we wanted to make sure he was fed. My mother understands. This was the easy call to make.
Then we make the call to his mom. We express our concerns, and she is much more understanding than I thought she would be. We also mention that Christmas will likely not be possible, but we know this will be a longer conversation to have with her later.
Finally, my husband calls his aunt. That conversation is not as chill. Biggest thing is that she assumed I don’t want children because of my career and that women can be lawyers and have kids. She did not know she was on speaker. I am LIVID.
After all these calls, I finally shower, do my nighttime routine, feed kittens, and get ready for bed.
11:00 p.m.
Bed time. Except that the big cats get all grumpy and are fighting with each other, so they keep us up for a while. UGH
Daily Total: $0.99
Friday, 11/13
8:00 a.m.
Not as rested as yesterday, not as tired as Wednesday. I’ll take it. Same old morning routine: cats, clothes, etc. Today, I remember the veggie breakfast sausages and heat two up to take with me.
9:15 a.m.
Work! I eat my veggie sausages and a plum. If you’re keeping track, that’s four different fruits this week. I also check my bank account! Payday! The foundation guy still hasn’t cashed his check though, which is annoying.
1:20 p.m.
I go heat up my lunch, which should finally finish up the spaghetti squash. As I walk around, I see that there are two other lawyers here and two legal assistants. It’s a ghost town. I’m tempted to leave. I also see that Barack Obama’s new book is about to come out, so I pre-order it.
$29.23
1:45 p.m.
Because of the ghost town status, I leave. I have errands to run and a Friday to enjoy. Regardless, I will still work at home.
2:00 p.m.
I saw a few recipes I want to try this weekend, so I pop over to Whole Foods right by the office and get the ingredients I don’t already have at home. It’s mostly specialty vegetables and fresh spices. I even buy salmon, which I almost never cook.
$78.40
3:00 p.m.
I get home and medicate the kittens, which I did not do before leaving this morning. I put away the groceries, and my husband gets home! Yay! He lays down on the sofa, and I pull out my laptop to finish working for the day.
5:00 p.m.
I finish working for the day and start a load of laundry
6:00 p.m.
I do a ride with my other friend. The theme is weird, but I get a great sweat in.
7:00 p.m.
I use the fancy ingredients to make coconut miso salmon curry and some plain rice. It is AMAZING!! Maybe this is the best dinner I’ve made in a while. Martha Stewart who? Meanwhile, my husband puts on the latest episode of the Mandalorian. I didn’t watch the first season with him, but I’ve enjoyed watching this with him. After that’s done, I finish Wow, No Thank You and start Anxious People.
11:00 p.m.
Bed time! Same old routine. We have a long day ahead of us.
Daily total: $107.63
Saturday 11/14
8:12 a.m.
My birth control alarm will never let me sleep in.
9:30 a.m.
But I do get to sleep a little while longer. However, today is my birthday party/friendsgiving and we have so much cleaning to do. I heat up some tea, and my husband makes us toaster waffles, and we sit for a little while.
To be clear, when I say party, I mean, hanging out with the same few people I’ve seen all of quarantine. There will be eight other people there aside from my husband and I, so there will be a total of 10 people in my apartment. (And five cats). I even considered cancelling this after we had to call the family and tell them we weren’t going to Thanksgiving. But I’m already bummed I don’t get to go to the Texas Renaissance Festival this year, so a small get-together is as good as it gets.
10:00 a.m.
The theme here is powerpoint party, and even though I sent out the information two weeks ago, I have not prepared my powerpoint. I spend three hours prepping my powerpoint. It is informative, it is dark, it is ready.
Well, kind of. About two hours in, I notice my laptop has stopped charging. I JUST GOT THIS CHARGER A MONTH AGO. I have known the end was coming for my laptop soon enough, but I kept trying to hold it off. My laptop is already four years old, and it would not be worth it to replace the battery. I don’t like using my work laptop for personal things, but I don’t have another option, and my husband is still working on his presentation as well, so I grab my work laptop and finish it off. Let’s see if I purchase a new laptop this upcoming week. (Recommendations are always welcome. I currently have a Dell XPS 13 Touch, and I’ll probably just get a new one of those unless a better recommendation comes along).
1:30 p.m.
We start the deep clean. I get busy in the kitchen and my husband cleans the bathroom. Vacuuming, mopping, rug cleaning, etc. and soon, our apartment is spotless.
While we’re cleaning, my mom texts me and confirms the foundation guy picked up his check.
4:30 p.m.
I still need a few more things so I shower quickly and head to Kroger to get the last things I forgot at Whole Foods. I am unfortunately out of time to work out, so that won’t happen today.
4:45 p.m.
Paper plates, cups, tin foil, and more tofu. I’m not trying to do all those dishes tomorrow.
$16.26
5:00 p.m.
I also go to Spec’s to get more alcohol. It’s the only place that has mead, and I’m trying to recreate those Ren Fest vibes as best I can.
$102.90
5:30 p.m.
Time to start cooking. Everyone is bringing a little something, so the weight is not on me to do it all. I am making vegetarian shepherd’s pie, tofu roulade, and roasted cauliflower. I’m very anxious. I’ve never been a fan of hosting parties, and COVID has only confirmed that I prefer being a homebody. Insert cooking montage here.
6:00 p.m.
One of my friends arrives early and helps me finish prepping. The roulade is not going well, which is disappointing.
7:00 p.m.
Everyone has arrived, and we start eating.
Presentations are shown, laughs ensue, and good times are had by all. Powerpoint themes:

• Poetry of Catullus (Catullus is a fuckboi)
• Crimes Each Duggar Would Commit (this was me)
• Loch Ness (by my friend who honeymooned in Scotland and is learning Scottish)
• The Republican Party’s Path To Victory (It’s a shitpost. It’s one slide and it’s Jeb!)
• Do Tapirs Exist? An Exposition (Spoiler alert: Yes)
• The Spy Kids Trilogy and Why They’re The Greatest Movies to Ever Exist (undisputed best slideshow of the night)

12:00-1:00 a.m.ish
I don’t remember exactly when the party ended, but it was a reasonable enough hour. I take my makeup off and go to bed.
Daily total: $119.16
Sunday 11/15
8:12 a.m.
Birth control alarm. UGH. I am hungover and feeling it.
9:00 a.m.
I move to the sofa so I can watch tiktoks without waking up my husband. I will not move from this spot very much all day.
We don’t really eat breakfast today, because we are still full from last night. Around lunchtime, we heat up some more food from last night.
I watch Big Mouth all day because season 4 is coming out in a few weeks. It’s just as weird and uncomfortable as I remember it being.
I also cuddle with kittens all day, and they are SO CUTE. I LOVE THEM.
7:00 p.m. ish
I finally get up to be semi-productive. I load the dishwasher and leave the pots and pans for my husband to wash later. We still ended up using all our utensils, serving spoons, and small plates for cake.
I also start dinner. We actually finished most of the food we had made yesterday at lunch. I make ramen and guss it up with shiitake mushrooms, miso (lots of miso this week), kimchi, and rice cakes. Easy, tasty, satisfying.
Around this time, I go back to my laptop. It is not charging. UGH.
After dinner, and more tv, I finally shower, and finally feel like a normal person. I read for a little while before bed.
11:30 p.m.
What a lazy Sunday. It’s exactly what I needed.
Daily total: $0
Monday 11/16
7:15 a.m.
I’m up and mostly rested.
7:30 a.m.
I get out of bed, and finally do a chore I’ve been putting off all week: repotting my money tree to take back to the office.
After that, it’s the same old morning routine: cats, plants, packing lunch, getting dressed. But today, makeup and breakfast both happen. Who is she????
Additionally, I joined a weight loss pool at work that started a month ago. I weigh myself for the weekly check-in. Despite the feast I had this weekend, I still managed to lose a pound. This is pretty consistent with what I’ve done all month. Overall, four pounds lost. I wish it would go faster, but it’s fine. I’m healthy, I’m active, and I eat well.
9:00 a.m.
Work! My money tree fell over in the car and dirt got all over the ground. Great. And the tree is falling out of its new pot. I awkwardly repot it in my car, and then in my office. Hopefully it’s okay. Otherwise, I have a specific research topic to answer, and a report due tomorrow.
I also bring my personal laptop and hope it will charge here. No such luck. I order a replacement charger AGAIN, but this time it’s free of charge. I also start doing research on how much it’ll take to replace my laptop. I do need it for tutoring, so it’s not like I can put it off much longer. There are Black Friday deals going on already. There’s also a Best Buy nearby, so I’ll go look after work.
11:30 a.m.
I eat a plum and go look at my credit card statement. I usually pay it off every two weeks, to align with paychecks, so I pay off my credit card. I note that there’s a Classpass charge on my card. I saw the email a few weeks ago and forgot to cancel. I cancel my membership, but the $60 charge is already on my card. UGH
$60.00
I also get an email confirming our Imperfect Foods order and the charge that comes with it.
$63.93
1:00 p.m.
I heat up some of the ramen from yesterday. It’s fine. Our work microwave isn’t very good. I eat a mandarin as well.
5:30 p.m.
I am almost finished with the document review in this case, but I ordered some tables for my office plants last week, and they came in over the weekend. I assemble those and arrange my plants. Since it’s my birthday tomorrow, I get to go to the plant store.
6:00 p.m.
I drive on over to Best Buy and check out the Dell selection. They only have Inspirons on display. What a waste of time. I also goofed on the way over here and had to do a big loop on the highway to get here, so I’m extra annoyed. Afterwards, I call my husband and he already knows that I’m going to suggest ordering in. He gets me.
6:40 p.m.
I get home and plop on the sofa. He wants something hearty, but I want the opposite. We find a good compromise and I put the order in.
$40.44
7:45 p.m.
Food is here! He got a BBQ brisket sandwich, and I got a brussel sprout salad. Compromise. We watch the latest Last Week Tonight. John Oliver blows up 2020 and it’s exactly what this year deserves. Trash TV and kitten cuddles for the rest of the night. Too tired to read.
11:00 p.m.
Time for bed. Teeth, face, etc.
Daily total: $164.37
WEEKLY TOTALS
Food + Drink: $310.89
Fun / Entertainment: $30.22 (book and pokemon go)
Home + Health: $0.00
Clothes + Beauty: $89.95
Transport: $0.00
Other: $60.00
GRAND TOTAL: $491.06
REFLECTIONS
Aside from the alcohol and extra party purchases, this was a pretty standard week. I have been doing better about not buying clothes when I’m sad, but I also normally buy used clothing and not a new dress for $90. I am very much a creature of habit, which I did not realize until I wrote it all out. I am excited about our financial future, and although we aren’t putting much into savings right now, I know that’s temporary.

A quick note: during this diary, I’m living for a few months in Mobile, Alabama. My parents asked me to house sit for them (while they social distantly gallivant about in their Airstream) and I jumped at the opportunity to take a break from my normal life and my relationship (it’s been a rough year, y’all) to reevaluate what I truly want. I feel hashtag blessed to have this opportunity and I’m trying not to waste it. My life may look a little different in 6 months (if I leave the relationship, I plan on moving rather far away—maybe here? Who knows!), so this seemed like a good time to write the diary and perhaps give an update in six or seven months when I have a more solidified life.

Assets and Debt

Retirement Balance: $17,000 split between my job’s 401k, a Traditional IRA (former employer 401ks rolled into one account), and a Roth IRA.
Home Equity: N/A
Savings Accounts:

• Emergency Account: $9,600
• Car Savings: $2,700
• Vacation: $450
• Short Term Savings: $3,300

Checking Account Balance: I keep ~$100 in my checking as a “just in case” for cash withdrawals
Credit Card Debt: None. I charge everything to my cards and pay them off in full each pay period.
Student Loan Debt: None! Just paid off the last of my student loans last month. Originally had $27,000 between my undergrad and graduate degrees and it took me 12 years to pay them off (who the hell knows how much interest that entailed…my average rate, for Federal loans, was 6-7%).

Income

Income Progression: This is worth an entire separate thread probably! I earned a joint BA in English and Environmental Studies and then completed a MFA in Creative Writing. Originally, I planned on entering academia and becoming a professor, but the crash of ’08 destroyed that idea. A few months before graduating with my MFA, I lined up a job working full time as a marketing coordinator ($30,000). Over the next few years, I increased pay (up to $48,000 after 3 job moves) to match my skillset (where I live, marketing means you do PR, code websites, create content, can design flashy print pieces, run social media, record videos, manage clients/angry people, etc. etc. It’s a one-person-do-it-all type role). Unfortunately, in 2016, I was recruited to a company (management level role! $60,000 salary!) that lied about its financial status and then laid me off several months later (I was the first of 70% to be axed). Living where I do, jobs are scarce and I was unemployed for 6 months. Eventually I found a job that was a big pay cut from my previous-previous role (back down to $45,000), and my boss was horribly abusive. After getting a nasty case of shingles, I was desperate for a new role. Thankfully, I quickly positioned myself into a lateral pay move with a huge title bump ($48,000 but an executive-level role in a local government) and used the next two years to work my butt off, network, and manage a few major crises (hello, being on live CNN is weird!). Two years into that job, I gave a presentation at a national conference and was recruited to my current role ($76,000 initial salary). After 1 year with the company, I’m now a project manager and was given a pay adjustment up to $84,000 which, honestly, feels like fake money and I still can’t really comprehend it.
Take Home Pay: In August, my monthly take home pay, after taxes & deductions, was $4,251 ($6,762 before taxes/deductions). Because I’m billable, I charge for every hour I work for a client. This means that, although I am salaried, I also am paid my hourly rate ($40/hour) for each overtime hour. Since I work some OT every pay period, I honestly have no idea what my base monthly salary is.
Pre-Tax Deductions:

• 401k: $640 (my company provides a super small match…I think it’s only 1.5%)
• Health& Dental Insurance: $145
• FSA: $22 (I use this to pay for therapy co-pays)
• Long & Short-Term Disability Insurance: $40

Approximate Tax Deductions (I withhold the max amount because I’ve was screwed before by a previous employer who did not correctly calculate things on their end which resulted in me owing the IRS a lot of money I didn’t have):

• Federal: $1,000
• Social Security: $430
• Medicare: $100
• State Income Tax: $320

Side Gig/Other Income: N/A (Until recently, I worked as a freelance as a writer, photographer, and marketing consultant prior to this job and that income helped pay for vacations and other splurges. Thankfully, I no longer need a second job)

Expenses

Rent: I pay $290 per month for half of the house that my boyfriend owns. Yes, the mortgage is truly that low—welcome to Appalachia. Before, my rent was generally in the $800 range for a very nice 2 bed apartment in a larger town.
Retirement Contribution: $300 per month into a Roth IRA. Looking at increasing this until it is maxed out with any future salary increases. I’ll then circle back and max out my 401k after that occurs.
Savings Contributions:

• Emergency Account: $200 per month
• Car Savings: $200 per month
• Vacation: $100 per month
• Short Term Savings: Looking to contribute $2,000 per month as long as is possible – this is my GTFO account (if needed) and/or savings for a down payment

Debt Payments: N/A
Monthly Recurring Donations: $25 to my local Planned Parenthood clinic and $25 to a local wildlife rehabilitation clinic
Electric & Gas: ~$90 per month for my half
Water & Sewer: $55 per month for my half
Wifi: Paid for by work
Cellphone: Paid for by work
Car Insurance: $57 per month
Gym: $55 per month for the local YMCA (on hold due to C19)
Subscriptions: $10 for Spotify, $1 for Apple Storage, $60 per year for Strava Premium (I use a family member’s Netflix and boyfriend covers Hulu and our Britbox subscription on Prime)
Pet Expenses: Maybe ~$50 each month for my two cats? Not really sure…I also cover expenses for the dog now, but everyone is suuuuper minimal. It’s just food, litter, and any other little bits and bobs.
Therapy: Each session is a $30 copay which I pay for with pre-tax money in my FSA account. I average 2 sessions a month, but am currently on hold for complicated reasons (and also not being sure if I like her)

Money Diary

Monday – Day 1
5:43 AM: Alarm goes off and the cats refuse to budge. Even the dog is unenthused. Manage to crawl out of bed by 6:15.
6:15 AM: Feed cats, walk the dog, and pull my bike out of the garage. Getting used to the super-hot weather here has been rough in terms of riding, so I’m trying to force myself to ride before work….not sure how this will go!
6:30 AM: Ride for about an hour (16 miles but oh-so-flat!) and only yell at two cars for buzzing me. I’ll never understand how drivers feel ok giving a cyclist no space (especially when the cyclist is on or to the right of the white line!). PSA: please give cyclists 2-3 feet of room when you pass them! You’re in a giant death machine going 45+ mph while the cyclist is completely unprotected!
8:00 AM: Make a smoothie (banana, scoop of peanut butter, mixed berries, spinach, almond milk) and start my laptop. There are waaaay too many emails for this early on a Monday morning,
10:00 AM: Coffee & a quick browse on Reddit. I miss my espresso machine back home. Caffeine is caffeine, but this drip stuff is just not the same (make a mental note to browse online for espresso machine prices in case I move out and need one down the road…)
11:00 AM: More coffee & a slice of banana bread (https://www.tastingtable.com/cook/recipes/brown-butter-banana-bread-recipe - but I added chocolate chips and chopped walnuts as well). Still just working my way through QA checks of work my team did over the weekend.
Noon: Starving, so I heat up the veggie curry I made the other night (mushrooms, carrots, onion, sliced cherry tomatoes, red potatoes, and snow peas in a Trader Joe’s yellow curry sauce – just using up whatever odds and ends my mom left in the fridge at this point!). Watch a short episode of Munchie’s The Pizza Show on YouTube with the dog (he has good taste in free content).
4:30 PM: The afternoon dragged by with QA work and team calls and, to be honest, I didn’t get as much done as I wanted. But I’m also at a point where I just can’t handle, so it’s time to turn off the laptop and let it be. Because it’s raining and apparently depression is on the menu tonight, I start the Hillary Clinton docuseries on Hulu. America, you coulda had a bad bitch (or at least a competent one) ☹
6:00 PM: Dinner & more Hillary. On the menu tonight: roasted broccoli, cherry tomatoes, and shrimp (tossed all with the Penzey’s Bangkok mix https://www.penzeys.com/online-catalog/bangkok-blend/c-24/p-13/pd-s , salt, and olive oil—roast the broccoli and tomatoes until done and then put the shrimp on the pan for ~2 minutes until done) with mashed potatoes.
10:00 PM: Take the dog outside and then go to bed.
Total Daily Spend: $0
Tuesday – Day 2
6:41 AM – Alarm. (Anyone else refuse to use “normal” times for their alarm?)
7:45 AM – Dog is adamant about wanting to go outside and I guess I should actually start work, so here we are!
8:00 AM – Coffee & work (today’s plan: powerpoints, client calls, and other random things like QA checks)
1:00 PM – I guess I should eat lunch? Typically, I try to eat around Noon, but with clients located in different time zones, I often end up eating at weird times between calls. Today is the final round of leftover veggie curry with some of the shrimp from last night on top.
1:15 PM – My Noon call resulted in a huuuuuge list of due-outs, so I’ll be focusing on that for the rest of the afternoon (mostly including: writing too many emails, creating calendar invites, talking to my team members to assign them work, etc.).
6:30 PM – Finally wrap up work (too many late afternoon phone calls) and decide to wash my car. I’ve been eying the 0% financing deals and figure if I’m going to show up to test drive, I might as well have a very clean car so that they give me a good offer. While I’d never normally buy a brand new car, between the money I can put down on it and a decent trade-in offer for my current car, it’s very tempting. Doubt I’ll purchase, but we’ll see!
7:30 PM – Leftover shrimp, broccoli, and mashed potatoes. Watch an old episode of Good Mythical Morning (Rhett and Link are terrible at blind taste testing frozen pizzas! Now I want a frozen pizza!).
8:00 PM – Talk with the boyfriend back home for an hour or so. Mostly discuss the various pets and I vent a little about work. It’s difficult to discuss our relationship on here, mostly because I think my heart just isn’t invested in it but my head keeps telling me that it “should be” good…Definitely hopeful that I can figure out my head-heart dialogue over the next two months.
9:30 PM – Bed! Best thing about living alone? Bed whenever you want it!
Total Daily Spend: $0
Wednesday – Day 3
5:43 AM – Alarm. Intended to go on a bike ride but didn’t sleep well last night so I decide to go back to sleep. The cats are very much ok with that situation.
7:30 AM – Coffee and starting my workday! I already worked for a fully remote team pre-C19, so it’s been fun to see everyone else get used to WFH. I love the freedom to roll out of bed and get the day going (and really love wearing sweatpants every day—game changer).
11:45 AM – It’s been a crazy morning of writing up performance reviews, talking with a team about a presentation we’re giving later today to our client’s executive suite, talking with another client about an upcoming deliverable, and editing materials for the meeting later today. At some point I make a smoothie (same as Day 1) and also take a mini-break to browse houses on the Oregon Coast…Anyone have NorCal/S. Oregon suggestions for a good place to live?
1:00 PM – Scrounge together lunch (last of the shrimp/broccoli leftovers made into a “southern burrito” with pimento cheese on a wrap—somehow it works!), take a midday shower, and back at my desk within 30 minutes.
6:00 PM – Briefing went well! Boss calls to congratulate me on handling some difficult questions from the client and I power down my computer. It’s too hot to ride (100+ with the heat index) and I’m not feeling super hungry, so I pack a bottle of Sauv Blanc in a cooler, along with some crawfish dip I found at a local fish market here (it’s good but I could definitely make it better!), and head out to my mom’s sailboat. I feel incredibly lucky to have the boat (albeit docked and sail-less for the coming months while I house sit) at my disposal and love sitting on the deck with the dog and watching the sunset.
8:00 PM – Head home after a long conversation with the boyfriend (our couples therapy session is tomorrow morning and he wanted to talk about what we wanted to talk about which then became a pre-therapy discussion and was overall exhausting), watch at Escape to the Country episode, and head to bed around 9:30.
Total Daily Spend: $0
Wednesday – Day 4
5:43 AM – Alarm. Again, as is the theme this week, intended to go out riding but didn’t do it. I’m becoming increasingly frustrated at myself for this but am trying to give myself some grace since my body and mind really prefer riding in the evening and making the switch to morning is out of the norm.
7:00 AM – Start work early since I have a full day of meetings and the therapy session ahead of me. Sort and respond to emails and work on a few deliverables for my main client.
9:00 AM – Therapy session. Best part of remote therapy? Sitting with the dog and rubbing his head when I get stressed/upset. He’s the best. <3
10:00 AM – Straight off the therapy session and into my first of 4 individual hour-long calls for the day. Because of the time zone differences, I’m not able to take a lunch and instead heat up a leftover piece of lasagna that my mom left for me in the freezer. Frantically eat while getting documents and slides ready for my meeting at Noon.
4:00 PM – Finally off calls and feeling overwhelmed with the upcoming quarter. My team has been assigned to work on another client project with a very short turn-around but we’re already over-stretched with our workload (I’m at, on average, a 95% billable rate, even with vacation time or holidays factored in). As a PM, I’m not sure how I’m going to manage everyone’s workloads and not also lose my mind…but I guess that’s what they pay me the big bucks for?
5:00 PM – I give up on work, start marinating tempeh for tempeh shawarma tonight (loosely based on this recipe: https://bittersweetblog.com/2018/01/26/no-more-street-meat/), load up the cooler with the remaining half bottle of wine, and drive over to the boat for another solo happy hour. This time, I keep phone calls to a minimum and focus on watching the pelicans, waving at boaters as they scoot by (damn, must be nice to be on a movable boat!), and pet the dog. The dog is very pro the head scritches.
7:30 PM – Rice in the rice cooker (plain with salt, not like the recipe), tempeh in the pan to cook (I get it super caramelized almost to the point of burned, *chef’s kiss*), lettuce and tomatoes chopped, and white sauce whipped up (regular Greek yogurt, not vegan), and I settle in with food and a few Matty Mattheson episodes. Can we please discuss his bone marrow and tomato tartine? Holy hell, I want it.
9:00 PM – Did I mention that I love early bed?
Total Daily Spend: $0
Friday – Day 5
3:00 AM – Well, I’m awake (stress? Who knows) and turn off my alarm because there’s no way on earth that I’m getting up at 5-something to ride.
7:00 AM – Major cat snuggles with both cats for 30 minutes. Old lady cat scooches beneath my chin and I use her as a pillow which, I think, is truly the greatest way to lower anxiety.
8:00 AM – Pay day and 20 unread emails! Cool! What is time and why is everyone emailing me after 6 PM?! Move $1,000 into my short-term savings account, pay off my credit card purchases from the past two weeks, and do a quick check on all of my accounts to make sure that everything looks good. The past year has been a game changer for me in terms of financial security. I wasn’t exactly living paycheck-to-paycheck before, but my student debt seemed never ending and I wasn’t able to put much away in terms of retirement savings or emergency savings. Last year I paid for a bunch of house-related issues at my boyfriend’s house (insulation, a working bathroom sink, an a/c unit for my office, a working fridge, etc.) and didn’t focus on saving as much as I could. So I feel like I need to make up for lost time now (hence the huge focus on short-term savings). Since our relationship is rocky, I also want to make sure that I have enough to pay for movers for a major move and also have a cushion for a rental deposit and whatever else. Of course, if the relationship does work out, then the savings will be a huge boost towards me paying for a house in an area of the country that we want to live. So I guess I’m keeping one foot on both sides of the possibilities but seeing it as a win-win in terms of setting myself up for success no matter what.
Noon – Lunch happens at my desk while working (leftover tempeh shawarma).
3:00 PM – Take a quick break from writing technical reports to try on the Dickie’s order that arrived. Before you judge and think it’s weird, I ordered one of their t-shirts last year and fell in love with it. Decided to “splurge” last week and order a few more (I’m a minimalist when it comes to clothes). Unfortunately, though I thought I was buying the same shirt, they weren’t the same, and I hate the fabric and feel of the ones that arrived. Process the return and find the original shirt I wanted on the Kohl’s site. Before I hit “purchase,” I think to Google the name of the shirt and, lo and behold, there’s a Dickie’s outlet page that has them for only $9 each (as opposed to Kohl’s which was around $25 each). (Link to shirt for those of you who are in the market for a basic t-shirt that doesn’t hug your stomach/hips and isn’t too low of a v-neck: https://www.dickies.com/women/womens-heritage-short-sleeve-v-neck-t-shirt/FS098.html?dwvar_FS098_color=DMH#start=1) $42.85 for 4 t-shirts
4:30 PM – DONE for the week (can we get an amen?!). Debate checking out a local brewery (outside seating only, of course) and settle on one that claims to have a very large dog-friendly outdoor area.
10:00 PM – Local brewery was a success! Over the course of many hours, I enjoyed one flight and two pints. The dog and I sat on the patio in the shade and I was able to read more of my current book (The Overstory by Richard Powers) and I think I’ll definitely go back again soon. $22
Total Daily Spend: $62.85
Saturday – Day 6
6:30 AM – Finally wake up and drag myself out of bed with enough time to ride before it gets super hot. Get all the animals settled, eat a tortilla and peanut butter for some quick calories, and head out.
8:30 AM – Back after a really good ride! Part of the route skirted the Bay and I can’t believe I temporarily live somewhere so beautiful.
10 AM – How is it not mid-afternoon? Eat the final leftover tempeh shawarma and putz around. Decide to try taking the dog to the beach in the evening.
Noon – Hottest part of the day means that maybe car dealerships won’t be so busy? Head over to Subaru to test drive a 2020 Impreza hatchback and then to a Toyota dealer to test drive a 2020 Corolla hatchback. I’m a Subaru fan girl but the Corolla’s features are really nice. The Toyota salespeople were super sleazy and annoying and low balled me on a trade-in quote and then quickly backpedaled when they realized I wasn’t going to be had. Left a bad taste in my mouth for sure and certainly won’t win them any future points if I decide to go with a Toyota.
2:00 PM – My uncle (step-in-law or something? Who knows how it all works) calls and asks if I want to go out on his boat (motor, not sail). Um, of course?! Pack up a cooler of Alabama beers and head over with the pup. It’s a glorious day out on the Bay – not too choppy, nice breeze – and we check out an island used for pelican nesting habitat (basically a real-life Jurassic Park because pelicans are actually tiny dinosaurs). The dog is VERY unsure of how to handle the boat but does manage to hang out in the bow with me for a bit and let his ears flap in the wind. Is he the best boy? Yes, yes he is.
10:00 PM – Time flies? After a few hours and beers on the boat, we head back to land and I hang out (outside, not getting close at all to anyone) with the folks at the yacht club (clarification: yes, technically a yacht club, but in reality more like a very laid-back, working class property with boat slips. I felt a little exposed with people around (10 or so), but justified it, maybe wrongly so, by keeping my distance and always being outside.) Head to bed around 10:30.
Total Daily Spend: $0
Sunday – Day 7
7:30 AM – Dog demands to go out so I crawl out of bed and take care of the pets. Crawl back into bed, am instantly covered in animals, and decide to spend awhile ignoring life as much as I can.
9:00 AM – Guess I should eat/make coffee? Frozen hash browns (shreds) with two sausage patties, and an egg over-easy (all pilfered from my mom’s chest freezegrocery remains).
11:30 AM – Why do I still feel hungover even though I didn’t have that much to drink last night? Keep drinking water and fire up my computer to get some work done. I’d like to take next Friday off, so I’m working today and tomorrow to shift my holiday hours from Monday to Friday. I’m working on a fairly mindless report which doesn’t require me to feel 100%, so that’s a bonus.
5:30 PM – Finish up work and decide that it’s going to be a life admin kind of evening. Make crispy pan fried tofu (cornstarch!) in orange chicken sauce (https://dinnerthendessert.com/panda-express-orange-chicken-copycat/) with broccoli and snow peas. Spend the next few hours vacuuming, mopping, doing laundry, cleaning bathrooms, and tidying up.
8:30 PM – Pack the dog in the car because he’s been a good boy all day and he loves snoozing in cars and drive over to Publix to get groceries (mostly wine, tbh) for the week. The bill was pretty big (3 bottles of semi-decent wine, 1 six pack of local beer—this should last me at least two weeks) + assorted veggies, tofu, bread (BLTs are definitely on the menu next week), and etc. $101.49
9:30 PM – Exhausted, I call it a day with no-backing-out-allowed plans to wake up early and do a big ride in the morning for the free day off.
Total Daily Spend: $101.49

Weekly Totals:

Food & Drink: 123.01
Clothes & Beauty: $42.85
Total: $165.85
Overall, this was a normal week for me. I realize I should probably become more comfortable with spending money on myself, especially since my income has shifted so much in the past year, but I’m far more comfortable being frugal and investing in quality things every once in a blue moon. And with my future being so up in the air in terms of living and the associated costs of a potential move, I’m in “squirrel it away” mode for the foreseeable future.